Choose Wisely
by Mom2Lindsay
Summary: Bella is happy in her relationship with Jacob. Edward is content in his relationship with Tanya. Bella and Edward are about to meet each other. Will they still be happy or will they realize that happiness can not exist without eachother? A/H A/U cannons
1. The Originals

**Choose Wisely**

**Things I own: the new IPod Nano in black, Dr. Martens vintage 1914 boots, Batman earrings and necklace, a cinnamon red Kitchen Aid mixer, things I do not own: Twilight, SMeyer has those rights. I just make the characters and make twist turn and go bump in the night.**

_A/N This is my first fanfiction, and I hope I don't disappoint. If you like it please review and tell your friends and message boards about it. I just wanted to write some classic teenage angst. Not a whole lot of smut...yet... but be patient it will come. I love requests or suggestions so please feel free. Comments about how much you hate it may not be replied to as often but I do appreciate them and any constructive criticism you have. Oh and breathe... this is going to be cannon pairings E/B, J/A, E/R etc..._

_*love* Autumn_

**BPOV**

"Come on Bells!" he said almost in a whine. My boyfriend Jacob and I had been cooped up in my bedroom for going on four hours now. I had to make up this work for history and Jacob was trying to memorize the inner workings of some foreign car or another for his shop class. My dad, Charlie, was called into work; he is police chief, and the best friend of Jacob's dad Billy. Ever since Jacob and I started dating about nine months ago, our fathers seemed to reward us with an abnormal amount of trust for hormone ridden teenagers. We just assumed it was because they thought they had one up on us by each being the parental unit to one half of this relationship. They clearly forgot how resourceful lust filled teenagers can be. "We have been in this dark room, all alone, for almost four hours , and all you have let me do is run my fingers over the only exposed skin that sweater allows", he told me.

"Just let me finish this page of notes than I promise I will take this sweater off" I guaranteed him, looking up from under my lashes as I slightly kept my head turned to my left. A look I knew would appease him enough to at least finish this section in my text book.

We had been making out practically every day since I moved to Forks this summer. Making up for lost time we liked to say, because for the first six months of our relationship I lived in Arizona with Renee, my mom. But now my mom is traveling with her new Husband Phil. I could have traveled with them, but I knew I wanted to really take things to the next level with Jacob and I couldn't do that while being 1500 miles away. So I decided to move in here with Charlie, and to be closer to my Jacob. Making out was fun. It had never gone too far, mostly just a lot of kissing, every once in a while there would be a little groping, maybe even some rubbing of certain key body parts but I never really let anything go beyond the point of no return.

I know I am 17, and that probably every other 17 year old in Forks High has sex. But, and maybe I am a prude for saying this, but I like to think of myself as different.

Jake sighed a lengthy breath of the warm air and glanced at me. I knew that look; he was getting impatient for the make out session to start today. "Jake, you know I have to finish this work to be caught up here, and with school starting tomorrow I really don't want to start off behind. Just give me ten more minutes and my lips will be all yours", I smiled at him, trying desperately to show him simultaneously that I want him and that I was serious about finishing my work. He smiled back, and I knew that meant he would hold me to that.

Tomorrow is my first day at Forks High School. Jacob goes to school on La Push Indian reservation. This officially means I know zero people at my new school. Even though I haven't been the best at making friends, I'm not really worried about it. I have Jacob, and he is all I need. I mean no one wants to be friends with the police cheifs daughter anyway. I did however worry that the curriculum here would not be proficient. In Arizona I had taken mostly all AP classes, and here I only got into AP biology.

When I was finally done with everything, Jacob was there waiting, rather impatiently, to begin attempting to convince me to "go a lil further, just this once". This was a somewhat regular argument for us. He always wanted to take it to the next step, the next level, but I like the way we are. We have a really good thing going here. And if there is only one thing I learned from my mother, it is that once you cross over into the realm of condoms and post coital glow, everything changes. Yeah every once in a while the changes that occur with sex are good, like my mom and Phil, but usually, and especially at 17, the changes ended up meaning destruction of the relationship.

Which is just too bad for Jacob, because I love him, I love him a lot. So currently I am postponing our post coital glow opportunities in trade for time, growth, and maturity, all in hopes of saving the unique thing we have. A real relationship not based on sex, but on communication, trust and having things in common. I knew that when I was ready, when we were truly ready to risk it all for passion and hormones, I would just know.

So when I closed my book, a little louder than necessary and about ten minutes later, Jacob could hardly contain his boyish excitement. "All right, get over here and get those hands under this sweater and those lips on mine" I ordered. He moved faster than I remember him moving before. He lowered himself on top of me while simultaneously shifting me from lying on my side to lying on my back. I could feel his hardness pressing into my jeans. He must have been thinking about this before my ten minutes were up.

He brought his lips down to mine, soft at first but with more force after a few seconds. As I parted my lips and slowly started caressing his with my tongue, He made good on the deal with my sweater. At first he only slipped his 3 fingers under about a knuckles length. He gently swayed his fingers across my stomach, slowly adding more hand under my sweater with every sway. Our lips were moving faster now, our heart rates picking up, our breathing becoming erratic. He must have decided to just go for it, because the next thing I knew his hand was over my breast. His fingertips lifting up the underwire of my green bra, almost asking for permission to enter, knocking if you will. He waited a bit for my refusal, which didn't come, before pushing his hand all the way up over my breast, where the tips of his fingers immediately found my nipple. I moaned into his mouth when he began flicking it, knowing how much that worked me up. It was usually here that I would stop him. His body language began to show that he was waiting for me to push his body away from mine.

But he had been so patient, so sweat, and I was going to reward him. I arched my back, and he sighed. He had mistaken this as the cut off. When he made eye contact with me, I softened my eyes, letting him know to stay put, and reached behind me. I undid my bra, and slid each strap down my arm, reaching under my sleeve to take it off without removing my sweater. His eyes were huge. He was taking in every moment, every move I was making. When I playfully draped my bra over his head he grinned his huge Jacob grin. "Green huh? And here I was imagining you in plain white cotton bra and panties. Guess I have a lot to learn about my Bella" he said as he looked down toward the crotch of my jeans, raising his eyebrows, hinting at me to let him also learn the color of my panties.

"One forbidden garment at a time Jacob" I reminded him. He smiled, completely okay with our one step further today. No more words were spoken for the next 45 minutes, only heavy breathing, sometimes even gasps for air. We kissed all the innocent parts of each other's bodies, tracing jaw lines and earlobes with our tongues. His hands never escaped the cover of my sweater. Both hands very happy to play with my breasts, my nipples, getting to really know them, to learn and memorize this newly explored part of my anatomy.

**EPOV**

"Well how many did you read?" Tanya asked me. I was actually hesitant to answer her question. We both know that I am more studious than she, but she interprets this as more intelligent. So should I tell her that I read all 30 books on the suggested books for summer reading list? I guess I could tell her that part, and leave out the part that there were only three or four on the list I hadn't already read. Or I could use the fall back option and blame it on my dad.

"Tanya, you know Carlisle makes me do all work, mandatory or not. He insists that the more I do now the easier things will be for me once I get to med school" I said, watching her expression for any change. Be it relief or anger, I needed to know right away. Tanya is a great girl, and I do love her. But she has a flare for the dramatic. Nothing is gray for her, nothing lukewarm. Life is a constant high or low. Most people couldn't tolerate her at this close range. Me on the other hand, I grew up with her. I was the one person who had the ability to help her see the medium life has to offer. Or so her father had told me.

Both of our parents approved of our relationship. They all said it was natural, the obvious order life had in mind. That we were the yings to each other's yangs. Most of the time I agreed with them. Tanya always agreed with them. No matter what, I knew we were good. We worked. We had been together since we were twelve, and were always together as children. It may seem to some on the outside to be similar to a Middle Eastern style pre arranged relationship, but we both chose this.

Tanya is beautiful. She has long blond hair. But to call it blond is like calling the ocean blue. From a distance her hair was mostly blonde, slightly strawberry. But close up it seemed as though every strand of hair was a unique color in its own. All ranging from white to varying shades of yellow to pink and red and every hue in between. I love to play with her hair, to come up with names for each individual strand. Often names that related to a situation we were in, usually a situation that was emotional. Names like "The color of rose's blood after I slit her throat" or "Tanya's pretty pink surprise". The latter of those obviously a very different kind of 'emotion' than the first example.

Rose and Alice are my sisters. They are both deep in love with my two best friends Emmett and Jasper, who are brothers. Rosalie and Emmett had been together since the summer before they started high school and were practically inseparable. Alice and Jasper like to say they have always been together, yes that's right, always. Apparently once they knew the difference between boys and girls at around four years old they haven't had eyes for anyone other than each other. We are all a happy go lucky group. It has been the six of us since grade school. Sometimes a newbie or even a new couple would attempt to enter our tightly knit circle, but they never hung around after the realization that our unintentional force field had yet to be broken. Again, nature's order for things.

"Edward… What do you think of this Chap Stick I'm wearing? It is supposed to taste like raspberries." This was Tanya's way of telling me to pay more attention to her. Preferably the lips on hers kind of attention. So, I gladly filled her request. I stood up from my piano bench, and walked over to her, grabbing the back of her neck and sternly pushing her lips apart with my tongue. This was all done with one solid movement, no pausing or hesitating. Tanya and I were not having sex, simply because I can be very old fashioned. This was to her disapproval. She had spent many nights planning and scheming to figure out a way to change my mind. I had told her that I wasn't waiting for marriage, but I was waiting until the most important things in my life were more important than text messages, teachers and keeping my parents at bay. For me it just would ruin the experience knowing in the back of my head that if my parents found out they would be pissed. At the very least because we had done it under their roof. To me, that is not the situation when you allow yourself to become most vulnerable. I always had these crazy images of just starting to forget that the world even exists outside of my pleasing the woman I love, and BAM one of our parents walks in. Yeah that's classy, that's romantic. No thanks.

I continued kissing her, nibbling her neck and ears, fondling her breasts, squeezing her butt. She had reached down and was rubbing my dick over my jeans. It felt very good, almost too good. It was as if my dick was trying to convince me to jump down from the high ground and take her right now. So I stopped. She sighed, knowing defeat when she sees it. We both looked at the clock at the same time, 6:52. "I have to go get ready for tomorrow. I have to decide on my first day of school outfit, I'll call you later" she said with a blank stare. "Love you" I told her as she was already walking out the door, "Me too" she said, quietly, almost as if she didn't want me to hear.

_A/N So what did you think? Please review and share this with everyone you know. Thanks everyone. The plan is to add a chapter about every other day. Hope you enjoyed it!_


	2. Meet Cute

_I am excited about how many people have already added me and/or my story to their favorites. It is so much fun to write this. Thank you for reading it. So here is Chapter 2. I hope you like it. I am thinking about naming each chapter, what do you guys think? _

_Thank you so much Topaz1082, you are my out let, my energy, and even my rock. Your like Dora's backpack, you always have just what I need, and I might even get it with some cute lil song. :) Check out her awesome story that she also just started, A life Reborn, its good stuff._

_Also a big thanks to my dear hubby who lets me bounce stuff off him, especially the EPOV, cause well I'm a girl, and I question my writing abilities through the eyes of a man._

_Please review review review people. Us Authors live for the reviews ya know._

**_Things I own: A big crock pot, 9 caricatures, a broken toyota corolla, A _tattoo of a music note with the top being a bat. Things I do not own, Twilight, Bella, Edward, or any of them. That's Smeyer's territory, lucky bitch.**

Choose wisely ch 2

BPOV

The mechanic buzz of the alarm clock startled me out of a dream, a wonderful dream. All though I can't seem to remember what the dream was about, I do know it made me feel almost euphoric. Then I remembered that today was the first day of school, crap! I should have taken Charlie's advice and chosen what I was going to wear last night. Instead I decided to spend the extra few minutes with Jacob, talking about what we expected from the upcoming year in school. Jacob is a sophomore, a year younger than me. I knew that whatever 'friends' I managed to make here in forks would have some doubts about this. I knew that Jacob was awesome no matter what his grade was. He was kind, funny, accepting, funny, warm, sweet, spontaneous, and funny. He is about six feet tall, black hair that he keeps pretty short, dark skin from his Native American heritage obviously and the most beautiful smile the world has ever seen. They would question his age until they saw him, then they would probably be envious of me for having such a hot boyfriend. That's just how most high school girls are.

"Bella! Are you up? You better get going soon. It's coming down pretty bad out there, don't want you leaving late and getting in a crash because you're speeding. That would look great, police chief's daughter speeding and wrapped her truck around some defenseless Toyota…" Charlie kept describing the accident and humiliation I would cause him if I didn't get up and moving soon. I stopped listening to his shouting at me and stepped in the shower. After filling the bathroom with strawberry scented steam and thoroughly scrubbing every body part, I dragged a brush through my long brown locks. I applied a basic amount of hygiene products and put on just a little brown mascara and medicated Chap Stick. I decided to wear a pair of well fitting faded blue jeans and a sapphire colored long sleeve cotton t-shirt with a lighter blue tank under it. I put on my well loved black chucks, grabbed a hair tie incase my hair decided to pitch a fit because of the weather and headed down stairs.

"I don't know exactly what you like to eat before school. I put an onion bagel in the toaster for you. Cream cheese and juice is in the fridge and there are bananas on the table. Do you need any money for lunch?" Charlie said. I could tell he really wanted to help but nearly 17 years of not being an everyday Dad made him a little self conscience about it.

"Thanks Ch—Dad" oops I wasn't supposed to call him Charlie, "I really appreciate the bagel, everything. You don't have to worry, I do have some experience being the new girl at school" I smiled, letting him know I was not simply trying to make him feel better, I genuinely was not nervous.

"Okay kiddo, but it is my right to worry about you, you can't take that away. I just wish Billy would give in and let Jake go to Forks high with you. I would feel much more comfortable about all these hooligans around here if I knew Jake was with you"

"I have the pepper spray you gave me, it's in my backpack like you said, I will remember to go for the crotch on anyone stupid enough to grab my ass or issue a cat call" I sarcastically quipped while pouring the OJ and sitting down to eat my slightly burnt bagel. Yet another example of why I think it was abuse for Charlie to have cooked for himself all this time.

He kissed my head, grabbed his gun and keys and headed out the door. But not without pausing in the open door way, allowing the freezing air to penetrate the kitchen, looking like he had something to say but didn't and he continued on his way into the rain.

After finishing my food and putting my glass in the sink, I took another glance at the time, 7:54. I had a little more than 30 minutes to get to school. I put my charcoal gray coat on, grabbed my backpack, ran back upstairs to my room to get my IPod and the book I am currently reading, and headed out. The drive to school was uneventful, the way I like it, and I got there early enough to get a prime parking spot. My dad had already registered me, so all I had to do was get each teacher to sign this card they supplied me with and turn it in on the way home. The school was very uncomplicated, nothing like my school back in Phoenix. I walked to my first class and chose a spot on the ground near the door where I started reading. The hallways were filling with students, some noticed me, looking at me for a few seconds longer than normal as it dawned on them that I must be new, and others walking by me as if I had been there forever.

When the classroom door opened I went in, handed the large squat women the card to sign and tried to remember what class this even was. She told me to take the third seat back in the row closest to the window. When I sat, I looked around, still trying to decipher what class this is, and I noticed several free form counters to my left, covered with bowls and large wooden spoons. I looked to my right and saw poster upon poster about correct stitches, the different types of fabric and the appropriate thread to use with each one, and even a poster breaking down how to properly cut out a pattern. "Oh fuck me, I forgot they only had room in Home Ec. in this Godforsaken small town" I accidentally said aloud. I reassured myself that no one could have heard me just as a slightly annoying, kind of high pitched voice came from behind me.

When I turned around I saw this adorable girl sitting behind me. She was small, tiny even. She had short, spiky black hair and pouty lips. She was already smiling and nodding her head.

"I thought the same thing when I found out this was the only choice left, but my sister told me that she learned a lot in this class that she could use other places. Like making a romantic dinner for her man or hemming the hot but slightly too long skirt she found at that awesome resale store" She was so proud of herself, accepting the class and talking to the new girl.

"I'm Alice Cullen, and you're Isabella Swan, Police Chief Charlie Swan's daughter right?" I nodded my head, thinking of how I can hunt down Charlie for talking about me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not a stalker, I just like to stay informed" she was already opening her perfectly covered book.

I was still processing when the teacher, who introduced herself as Mrs. Carly, started talking about her love for homely tasks and that is when she lost me. Throughout that class and the next three I was pretty much on auto pilot. Before I knew it my stomach was growling and it was lunch time.

I entered the cafeteria and walked to the lunch line. I selected a pita filled with grilled chicken, a berry and yogurt parfait and a Coke Zero and only paid $4.00. One good thing about forks, it is much cheaper than Phoenix.

I walked to a table and started to sit when the small non stalker girl, Alice I think she said her name was, motioned for me to sit with her and her group at their table. I figured at the very least it could be a social experiment so I gathered my tray and walked to the table that was near the middle of the room. I already noticed people watching me walk to her. Ok so these must be the popular kids. They must think that if they befriend the chief's daughter, they can get away with more, this will be interesting. Alice introduced me around the table. Her boyfriend Jasper is tall, strong but not bulky and has somewhat floppy blond hair. His older brother Emmett is strong, but he is bulky. He was very tall, at least 6'3" or 6'4" and has dark hair. Next to him was Alice's older sister Rosalie, who is quite possibly the most beautiful normal person I had ever seen. I stared running through my limited mental list of child stars to see if I remembered her from something, but I didn't come up with anything. I guess she is just this gorgeous. She is also tall, close to 6', long blond hair that is loosely curled and she dresses in what you would see in next month's issue of Vogue. Alice said something about her brother Edward and his girlfriend Tanya who was Jasper and Emmett's sister being out behind some building making out but I would meet them later that day. Great, probably another abnormally beautiful couple. I was really missing Jacob right now.

We talked about me for the majority of lunch. About why I moved here, the differences between Forks and Phoenix, if my parents let me buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate for the differences in weather, my taste in music, which is similar to theirs, and other random tid bits that I would share. Jacob came up casually and the girls said something about being lucky to have already found a great guy cause Forks High was void of any.

When the bell rang, I picked up my tray and threw the non recyclable stuff in the trash and the rest in the practically empty blue bin. With as beautiful as Forks is, I can't believe the youth population here isn't bigger on the whole 'Green' movement.

I walked to my next class, AP Biology, with a little bit of excitement. This was the only class I knew would actually be a challenge for me. I walked in and had the teacher, Mr. Banner, sign the fifth line on my card before taking my seat at the lab table he pointed me to, telling me it was the only seat remaining. The guy I assumed would be my lab partner was standing at the table behind us, mindlessly chatting to some unfortunate guy with greasy hair and bad skin.

Mr. Banner cleared his throat letting us know that we should take our seats and give him our attention and my lab partner came and sat down next to me. He turned to me and extended his hand, making eye contact with me. At just that moment something happened in me. Looking at this guy, reaching out to put my hand in his, all of a sudden I could not breathe. It was as if the combination of touching his skin and making eye contact sucked all the oxygen out of the room. I couldn't think. I was completely enthralled by this guy, I wanted him to touch me, to kiss me, oh fuck, Jacob… Jacob Jacob Jacob. But I had never felt this exhilarated, it scared me. "I am Edward Cullen; I believe you have met my sister Alice. It is a pleasure to meet you Bella." he said with the smoothest melodic voice I have ever heard. He is tall, kind of long crazy bronze hair, piercing green eyes and the sharpest jaw I had ever seen. There was something about him that just made me think protector. I opened my mouth in an attempt to say something but ended up just nodding, with my mouth open, and my hand still in his. He smiled and pulled his hand away. I sat down and looked over at him as he sat too. He looked confused, scared, he looked how I felt.

EPOV

After showering, using the body wash that is supposed to make women chase me down in the streets, and brushing my teeth a little too thoroughly I got dressed for my first day of junior year. I picked out black jeans, the new dark blue converse that Tanya got me this summer, and my old Pink Floyd t shirt that was verging on not being able to pass as acceptable clothing one can wear in public. I knew the shirt would piss Tanya off, but hopefully the shoes would bring her back to neutral. I applied a small amount of gel to my haphazard umber colored hair. It was long, unruly, annoying, but the ladies seemed to love it, so it stayed exactly like this. Besides, it had seemed to become my signature thing over the high school years.

I grabbed my backpack and the keys to my Volvo and drove to Tanya's. I always picked her up for school. She came out dressed in a cute micro-mini black skirt, a purple tank top that had something that makes it shiny around the neckline, and ridiculously high black heels. She didn't even have a backpack, but an over sized purse. Weird. She climbed into the car and had to hold her skirt down. I looked at her, raised an eyebrow and said "I hope you're not trying to cover that for my benefit. I cannot personally think of a better way to celebrate our first day of school than to get a glimpse of what is under that nonexistent skirt" and then I smiled. She lowered her hands to her skirt, teasing me that she might actually lift it, and then very quickly she grabbed the seat belt and pulled it over her. I pouted, bottom lip out and everything. "What? Like you would do anything about it anyways, just drive Edward" snapping her head to look out the window. I guess Tanya was having a bad day; I would have to try and change that. I turned the key in the ignition and headed towards the school.

I parked next to Rose's car, got out and went to open the door for Tanya. She was waiting for me, so she couldn't be having to bad of a day. When she was really mad she wouldn't let me do anything for her, not open a door or even put my hand on her lower back as we walked.

She got out and stood in front of me, both of us still inside the open door. She looked at me and I leaned down to give her a small reassuring kiss. As soon as my lips touched hers, she dropped her 'purse' and fiercely grabbed my head, twisting her fingers in my hair and pressing her lips against mine without reserve. Although I was shocked and confused, I welcomed the morning make out session. She pushed my lips open with her tongue; she held control of the kiss deciding how hard, how deep, how fast our tongues and mouths were to move. She pulled my hair and scratched the back of my neck. I just kept my hands around her waist. I was sure people were watching us, which would usually signal me to stop, but I understood that she needed this. Why she needed this was still a mystery to me.

We walked to our first class, which luckily we had together. Economics is not my favorite subject, not even close. I would still get an A and I would still tutor Tanya, and probably the others to, except Rosalie, who was also very intelligent and studious.

After Economics I moved on to my next class, which I shared with my sister Alice. She seemed very excited about something when I walked in the door. She was practically hoping while sitting in her chair, waving to me to come and sit next to her. We still had a few minutes before the bell rang and she clearly had a lot to tell me.

"Oh Edward, I met the new girl, Isabella Swan. But she likes to be called Bella. She is sweet, and funny, and witty, and not to stuck up but not lame either. Oh and she is so pretty, the natural kind, I don't think she was wearing any make up at all. She isn't anything like what I expected. She seems laid back, confident but not too much so. I thought she might be snobby and have that holier than thou attitude cause of Chief Swan. But she was just cool. I think we may actually have a new friend to hang out with, I can't wait for you and everyone else to meet her at lunch" She seemed to say all of this in one breath.

"Ok Alice, just please breathe, I don't want you passing out in class on the first day." Oh crap, I was going to take Tanya somewhere private during lunch to try and figure out what is up with her.

"Actually Alice, I was going to take Tanya behind the racquetball courts during lunch today, I'll meet Bella tomorrow ok?" I raised an eyebrow, hoping she wouldn't argue with me about this. I relaxed when she didn't, but was waiting for the interrogation on why I was taking Tanya there, thankfully it never came.

The next two classes went by fast, but also slow. We went over the syllabuses in each class, covered proper procedure for covering our books, and began to review before the bell rang.

When lunch came I walked two doors down to where Tanya had biology, she looked upset but only offered me that she was nervous about this class. I reassured her that I was taking AP Bio and would of course help her as much as she needed. I took her hand, walked to the vending machines near the cafeteria, bought us two Coke Zeros, and walked the one hundred yards to the back of the courts. When we got there, I took her purse and set it on the ground, then set my backpack next to it. I motioned for her to sit, against the wall, so we could be out of the sun. After I sat, I opened our sodas, and handed hers to her. Not once did she look at me, she just kept staring off in front of her.

I waited a few minutes, I wanted to give her forever to put her thoughts together, but unfortunately the bell would ring in about 45 minutes and I really needed to figure this out before I could go any further.

"Tanya, I know something is wrong. I have been trying all day to figure out what it could be but I can't come up with a theory. Please talk to me. I love you" I was begging now, she would know that.

She took a large, deep breath before she said "Edward, I love you. I always have loved you, I always will love you. I want to show you how much I love you. I want to give myself to you, completely and wholly. But you don't want me; you don't want to give each other the best gift we could give"

I waited a minute before I responded. I wanted to gather my thoughts, form my sentences completely before speaking them. This is a delicate situation that needs to be treaded through very lightly. With one last run through of the words I am about to speak and one quick deep breath, I begin. "Tanya, I love you, you know I love you. It is not that I don't want to give it to you or to receive it from you, it is that you and I, what we have is so special. I don't want to have that moment in anyway other than perfect, and I just do not believe teenagers can have the perfect situation to make love. You deserve everything, you deserve my undivided attention, but can you honestly say I would be able to give you that? I just don't want that stereotypical story where our parents walked in and caught us, or where it's the next morning and they ruin the romance by screaming while we are asleep. I know we have talked about this a little before and I hope you better understand now" Whew, I am so glad I got through that without fucking it up.

I was looking at her, waiting for something, anything. I got nothing. For at least ten minutes she was silent. When she finally spoke it wasn't even about the topic at hand. "Edward, what the fuck are you wearing? I understand your need to wear old ratty t shirts that display your taste in music, but on the first day of school. Really?"

"Well who am I trying to impress? I know everyone here and everyone knows me. I don't care about wearing the hottest clothes of the season." Was the answer I came up with, my brain was still playing catch up.

"K" was all she said.

Then she was straddling me, kissing me soft at first, then hard and passion filled. In the middle of the kisses she would murmur quiet words like "yes" and "I understand" And this is what I love about Tanya. She has a problem; she takes a minute to figure it out, tells me, we talk about it, and make it better. No drama no stress, pure simplicity.

We made out for the remaining of lunch, just kissing, and then I went to my next class and her to hers.

When I walked into the class Eric Yorkie called me over to him. He was telling me about some big party taking place at La Push beach. Some older brothers of some students here were getting a couple kegs and had a whole bunch of wood pallets to burn. He said that there was going to be college girls who would be drunk. I again reminded him that I couldn't be his wingman because I had already found the girl for me. He was trying to convince me to just go and help make him look good when Mr. Banner cleared his throat to get our attention. I turned to sit in my seat when I noticed a girl I didn't recognized. Ah this must be the infamous Isabella Swan, oh wait, Alice said she prefers Bella. I reached out to shake her hand and as soon as she touched me I lost it. What the hell is that? She is amazing, that's all I could think. She smells deliciously like strawberries, she feels like liquid velvet, she is the most beautiful, vulnerable stunning girl I had ever laid eyes on. Oh shit… Tanya, think about Tanya. Pink healthy full lips… Tanya…Long shiny chestnut hair…Tanya… the best thing I have ever smelt, shit this is a problem just keep cool.

"I am Edward Cullen; I believe you have met my sister Alice. It is a pleasure to meet you Bella."

She didn't remove her hand right away, I was mesmerized, and I felt like my world was just turned upside down. She opened her mouth to speak but only nodded. We both turned to sit down. That is when my cool let me down for a brief moment. I thought I was going to pass out.

Who is this girl?

_Well what did you think? I hope you enjoyed getting to know my version of the characters a little better. Next ch will be Edward and Bella convincing themselves that nothing happened, and they can be friends, yeah we will see how that goes. Suggestions please, and reviews. Oh and please tell everyone you know about this story. Love you all!_


	3. Farther

_A/N I hope you all love this chapter. Thanks for the reviews. I find it amusing that you all enjoy my EPOV so much as that is the part I worry about the most being as that I am not a man. This chapter is filled with some yummy lemons. Not the Lemon meringue if you will, just the lemon-ade. _

_Next chapter will be Edward and Bella interacting like normal at lunch around the others, and around Tanya. I haven't completely made up my mind as to exactly where I am taking it so I am open to suggestions. Also as a little added insentive, the more reviews I get for the story and or ch 3, the quicker I will get out ch 4. Please recommend me to your friends._

_Thanks to my husband William, who is my ear and my staright jacket when I am going insane about stupid details like 1 little word._

_Love you all_

_*Autumn*_

**Things I own: 5 shirts with ties printed on them, a pastel colored turtle, who turns into a pillow, named Smartie (after the candy), The original Adam West Batman the Movie on UMD for my PSP, and Romanian money. Things I do not own: Edward, Bella, Jacob, Tanya, Alice,etc... Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

Choose wisely ch 3

EPOV

Ok, I can handle this. There has to be some valid explanation, a scientific explanation for what just happened. I am sure there is one, but with her sitting less than a foot away from me, I cannot think straight. I try to figure it out but the best I have come up with is some extreme form of static electricity. The smell of her, the sweet vine ripened strawberry smell, was a major distraction. I kept trying to look at her without her seeing me. Her skin was like milk, smooth, pale, soft, just beautiful.

Ok so I need to assess what I know. She is the police chief's daughter, her name is Isabella Swan but she goes by Bella. She hails from some hot place, Arizona I think. She has luxurious auburn/brown hair, big smooth chocolate eyes, an adorable heart shaped face, a small frame that is very soft, not really toned, but very feminine. Ok I should reclarify for myself; I need to assess the important information. Alice said she is very nice, and I think I heard her say something about a boyfriend. This is good, a boyfriend, this helps me. If she has a boyfriend then whatever it was that I felt is not what it appeared to be.

"Edward…Edward…EDWARD!" Bella was trying to get my attention.

"Sorry, I was uh… did you need something?" I said in a stupor.

"Yes, we are supposed to take turns looking at these slides and list them in order of stages." She said almost robotic like. "I looked at this one, can you please look so we can agree on the stage and move onto the next?"

I lowered my eye to the microscope, and her answer was correct. She is smart too, so far, she is perfect. Well at least we have work to do, that should keep me distracted. It should but it isn't. What if I speak to her, maybe she will say something so utterly stupid that I'll immediately loose attention. Yes this is a good plan. I waited until we finished the assignment so I could give her my full attention. We finished first. Well at the very least I know she will be a competent lab partner, this is good considering the other choices.

After putting the slides back in the Styrofoam box and putting our papers at the edge of her side of the desk to be collected, I turned to her, took a deep, and said "So why did you move to Forks?"

Apparently I caught her off guard, because she stumbled a bit around her words and gave me a puzzling look before saying "Um… my mom got remarried and was traveling so I chose to move here, especially because I was tired of my long distance relationship. Jacob lives here so… yeah"

She was still looking at me like I had asked her what color her panties are. I just nodded, feeling the defeat since she didn't say something stupid. I have no idea what I am going to do. Alice was insistent on her being our friend and I couldn't even be near her without completely forgetting how to be human. All I know is that I need to see my girlfriend, Tanya, yeah that's it, I need to be around Tanya. I am probably just worked up from our lunch time make out session and this girl smells so good that my unpredictable teenage hormones are trying to convince me she is perfect and I should fuck her. I know that I don't know her and that whatever I am feeling has to be false, so this must be it. I just need Tanya.

During the rest of class I was having a complete inner battle, I mean it was chaos. I wanted so badly to talk to her, to smell her, to get to know her and to memorize her face, her hair. But I resisted this time. Mostly. I would think something about Bella, then something about Tanya. I was always keeping Tanya in the forefront of my mind. Unless Bella was taking that place. Damn it! This is going to be very difficult.

After school I practically ran to Tanya. She noticed something was up but didn't say anything. We got in my car and I drove to her house. Just like every day last year, and freshman year. Both of her parents work full time, whereas my mom stays at home. For this reason we go to her house. At first both our parents thought this was a bad idea but we convinced them to give us a shot, and both our grades stayed at As, well Tanya has gotten a few Bs but that is still very good. Since we keep our grades up and no sticks turn blue or develop little plus signs, they trust us to be alone for those 3 hours.

We grabbed some pop tarts, a couple diet dr. peppers and went to her room. I pulled out my student planner and went over my homework. Neither of us had very much work to do, it could all be accomplished in half an hour at most. Mostly just your typical "what did you do over your summer break?" essays and only ten review problems for each of us in math.

When we were done I decided to put 'operation forget Bella Swan" in action. I went to Tanya's bed and turned on the TV. 'Dirty Jobs' is the first thing that came on, so not sexy, so I started channel surfing. I finally landed on 'Ferris Bueller's Day off'. I motioned for Tanya to come sit with me. I leaned back on her headboard. It was a full sized bed so there was plenty of room for us. I bent my knees and she leaned along my stomach.

Tanya's room was an eclectic mix of our lives. Whatever corner or shelf your eyes landed on held some memento or another from the past years. In the far right corner near her closet was a shelf on the wall. On it was about 20 different movies tickets. Everything from Finding Nemo to Forgetting Sarah Marshall. There were also popcorn buckets and even an empty plastic cup with a Transformers design on it. Hanging up around her mirror were pictures of all six of us and one of Tanya, 'the brothers' as we called them and their parents. There was also a fake Hawaiian lei from Emmett's crazy luau and some dragonfly twinkle lights I got for her at a yard sale because the colors reminded me of her hair. Looking around was distracting me, this is going good so far.

I was using my right hand to lightly draw shapes over her upper arm. I picked up my soda, opened it and took a sip. Then I went to do the same with my pop tart. Oh shit, I didn't pay attention to the specific flavor of pop tarts or I would have grabbed a different snack. All it took was one whiff of the sweet strawberry breakfast pastry and I was done. Images of her big eyes, lined with long thick lashes came flooding to my mind. Things like the four little freckles she has over her nose or the way I could see the blue tank top peeking out from the right side of her sapphire colored shirt but not from the left side.

In the instant I grabbed Tanya, turned her around and started kissing her harder and more passionately than I ever had before. She noticed immediately and got into it. She straddled my legs; bring her hands to my neck. It was working, as hormones filled my body and I started to get hard. I slipped my hands up underneath the back of her shirt. Using my fingers to rub and massage her back. She started moaning. I think she is hoping I am going to allow it to go all the way, but I'm not. I started kissing down her jaw, her chin, down to her neck, dragging my tongue over the lines and curves of it. I allowed my teeth to graze her, then I opened my mouth wide and on the part where the muscle of her neck flows into the muscle of her shoulder, I bit. She bucked against my ranging hard on. Even though we hadn't done this before I knew how to turn my girl on.

I lifted my hands higher under her shirt and unhooked her bra with only a little trouble. She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes filled with questions, but also with desperation. I kept eye contact with her while pulling her shirt up over her head. After discarding her amethyst colored top I pulled the straps of her simple flesh toned bra down her arms and tossed it on top of her shirt. It had been a long time since I saw Tanya's beautiful breasts, and the last time was at the beach when the triangles of her bikini slid to the outside of her chest, leaving her bare skin exposed. That didn't really count because even her brothers saw.

Her breasts are divine. Small C cups, ever so slightly oval, perfectly round pink nipples, and I made mental note of all this while gently circling her nipples with my thumbs. She had her head leaned back, her mouth slightly parted. I took one of them into my mouth, sweetly sucking, tasting what was mine but had never tasted before. After doing this for a few minutes I started kissing the top of her stomach while slipping my hand up her skirt and under her panties. Then I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down a little. She got the idea of what I wanted when I took her hand and placed it on me.

"Edward, are you sure?" she asked, hopeful and excited, but also understandably skeptical.

"Yes Tanya, I love you. I am not ready for us to have sex yet but I want to please you. I do not want to ever leave you unsatisfied" I told her honestly.

At the same time we both started touching each other in a way we never had. I started caressing her soft pussy while she wrapped her fingers around me and incredibly slowly started moving her hand up and down. No one had ever touched me like this. "Tanya, that is amazing, you are amazing" I somehow said in a moan. I mean Tanya was the only girl I had ever even kissed.

As she went faster, jacking me off, I put my finger inside her. It felt like nothing I had ever touched. She is so warm, and soft. There is so much to feel, all the curves and ridges. It got me thinking of what sex would feel like, and I had done very well as a teenager when it comes to not thinking about that. I was a little unsure on how to do this, but decided to not think about it and allow what was natural to occur.

I put another finger insider her pussy, moving them in and out at alternating speeds. Sometimes I would go deep and slow then deep and fast. Other times I would move them so slowly and gently, just barely allowing the tips of my finger to enter her."Yes Edward, I have wanted you to touch me like this for so long. Please, please don't stop" It was driving her crazy. It was driving me crazy.

I was also rubbing her clit with my thumb. I could feel the small mound get swollen beneath my fingers. She really liked this, it made her moan louder than anything else I did and if I moved my thumb away she would move her hips forward trying to press into my thumb, obviously not wanting it to stop. Sometimes she would linger at the top of my dick, letting the palm of her hand rotate over the head. This was my favorite thing she did so far. While other times she would only use her finger tips lightly all around me. It seemed like she knew what she was doing, but I knew she didn't.

"Oh my God Tanya, I didn't know… I… I just didn't know" I said breathlessly.

"I have wanted to show you, to have you show me for so long. I love you Edward"

"I love you too"

We made eye contact as we both climaxed. I could feel her muscles contracting around my fingers while she made the most beautiful sounds known to man. She cupped her hand around the head of my dick and allowed me to fill it with all the warmth that came spilling out of me. After we were finished she just collapsed on to me, grinning ear to ear.

"I am so glad our talk helped. Thank you for listening to me and finding a way to compromise" She said in pure joy.

Oh fuck me, although I forget about Bella for the majority of our… session… for lack of well for lack of anything to call it, She was actually the first thing I thought about after. Here is Tanya thinking I did that for us, to compromise, to grow. While all I could think is if Tanya looked and sounded that beautiful, Bella would be God's finest creation. Oh what have I gotten myself into? This is going to get very ugly. I have to do something to figure how to get this girl, this wonderful, perfect, smart, adorable girl out of my head, or better yet out of my life.

BPOV

Ok so what the hell was that? I don't know this guy from Adam and for whatever reason when he looks at me or anything else, everything changes. It is like when I look at him, I forget about Jacob, I forget about how much I love Jacob, about my life entirely. All I can think about is touching him more, smelling him, and kissing him. He is the most handsome guy I have ever laid eyes on. Long crazy bronze hair, skin that is so pale but in such a sexy way, and his eyes are the color of the moss growing on the ancient trees around here. His mouth looked purposeful, like God created it to speak the most important words in the world.

Mr. Banner was describing the activity we were to do. He said it was to get a feel for our partnerships that way if anyone really didn't like their partner they could let him know and he would make adjustments while he still could. I honestly considered this option. I could have Mr. Banner move me, and then I would never have to think about Edward ever again. But there are two reasons I didn't move. The first is because I love Jacob. I love him so much and I know that if I move I am admitting defeat. This guy can't really have that much appeal to me. The second reason is because who am I trying to kid. No matter what seat I am in, Edward will still be there, radiating his perfectness, smelling, looking and sounding angelic. I cannot deny it. I am in for so much trouble.

I sat there waiting to see if Edward would start working on the assignment. He did not. So I took the initiative, picked up a slide, placed it under the microscope, and determined which stage it is. I pushed the microscope towards him. He was completely silent, and was staring off into space. "Edward..."nothing, "Edward…" no response, all right time to yell, "EDWARD" that did it.

He turned and looked at me. "Sorry, I was uh… did you need something?" Where was he? Maybe he stayed out late last night, a last day of summer party, he seems like that type. At least I know he isn't going crazy and imagining the world's most powerful chemistry between us, and I needed t o be sure he didn't know I was going crazy.

"Yes, we are supposed to take turns looking at these slides and list them in order of stages." I said trying not to show any emotion at all but it came out bordering on really bad newscaster monotone. "I looked at this one, can you please look so we can agree on the stage and move onto the next?" There that was better, only as bad as a mediocre newscaster.

After we were done with the slides, he sat there completely silent for a min and then… "So why did you move to Forks?" This was his topic of choice?

Okay, I can handle this, and it's an opportunity to drop the boyfriend card. "Um… my mom got remarried and was traveling so I chose to move here, especially because I was tired of my long distance relationship. Jacob lives here so… yeah" Now that I have informed him of Jacob, just in case he might be interested, and I have reminded myself, I feel like can move on.

We didn't speak anymore, just sat listening and taking notes. This syllabus is easy; it is basically a redo of the same class I took last year in Arizona. Easy A.

After school I went home, grabbed a granny smith apple, a string cheese and a bottle of water and got started on what little homework I had. When I was done, not even half an hour later, I realized I hadn't thought about Edward since I left school. This is good, I am so winning.

When Jacob called I was definitely ok with him coming over to 'hang out'. When he got here I asked him if he needed help with any homework, but he told me that the Res doesn't hand out homework during the first week. Maybe I should talk my dad into letting me move in with Jake and Billy so I can go to his school.

After he ate an apple he wanted our daily make out session. For some reason today it felt completely different. When he started kissing me it was the same way he usually kissed me, but something inside me was different. I needed it more. I let him part my lips with his much sooner than usual.

He laid my body down on my bed, crawling over me. Even though he was over me, he did not allow his entire body weight to come down on mine. I looked him in the eyes and without losing him, I lifted my body up and removed my shirt and my tank top in one move. His eyes widened, filled with anticipation and excitement. I nodded my head and removed my jeans. "Bella… what, what are you doing?" He was very hesitant. He was having a hard time breathing.

"Its ok Jake, I'm not changing my mind, but I really really want you. I don't want us to have sex, right now, but I do want to go a little further. Is that going to be a problem with you?" I asked as I bit my lip and looked at him expectantly.

"No no problem at all" he quickly blurt out as he tore his shirt off and began kissing me.

He kissed my mouth, nibbling my lips, and then he moved down to my neck, my arms, and my breasts. He looked up at me, his eyes begging for permission to touch me under my bra. No words needed to be spoken, we just looked at each other and he pulled the cups of my bra down so he could use his mouth on my naked breasts. Then he continued kissing further down in a straight line on my stomach. He got to the edge of my panties and I moaned. He lowered his mouth over my panties, breathing just enough that I could feel the heat from his breath on me. He placed a kiss on top of my clit, still over my underwear. I moaned again and that was all the permission he needed.

He used his hands to hook under the side of my crimson colored panties, moving them over and holding them with the opposite hand. I could not wait for what was coming. I had heard this was amazing, and that the orgasm from it rivaled all other orgasms. When he brought his tongue to me, licking down the lips of my hot center, I shuddered. Everyone was right; this would be the best orgasm ever. He continued licking me, twirling his tongue around my clit. He took a finger of his free hand and put it inside me. It was the first time any part of anyone had been inside me and it felt amazing. He started thrusting his finger in time with his mouth, and my mind wandered a little. How do guys know how to do this, what does it taste like for him, is he enjoying it as much as I am? All these questions kept coming in between the moans and heavy breathing.

"Yeah Bells, let me please you. I love you so much" He somehow said without removing his mouth from me. Every few licks he would draw his tongue from my opening to the top of my clit, sending me into a frenzy. I wanted him to know how good it felt, how awesome he was at this. "

"Jacob, you are incredible…feels so… can't breathe… my God…" I was not even able to speak coherent sentences but I could feel him smile against me, he must be proud of himself nonetheless.

He continued pressing his finger in me, and then he pulled it out and added his middle finger with it. The feeling of two inside me was about to send me over the wall. When he would put them in deep, he would wiggle just the tips, creating the most incredible sensation. "What is that… what… what are you doing?" I managed to get out.

"It is your g-spot, don't worry about what I am doing my love, just enjoy it and come for me." He said, calming, reassuring me that the details didn't matter.

When his tongue started circling my swollen clit, I could feel it building. The combination of the oral stimulation and the penetration with this fingers was about to make me have my first orgasm from anything other than the faucet in the bathtub.

"Jake… don't stop… don't…" and that was it, my body started shaking, almost violently, the sounds I was making were out of my control. I felt on fire, like every nerve in my body was burning and it was the best sensation I could imagine. In fact before this moment I couldn't have imagined it, it was other worldly, Jacob is awesome, and I am in love.

I stayed lying down, trying to catch my breath and he came and sat next to me. Smiling that infamous Jacob smile. I sat up after a couple minutes, turned towards him and said "Your turn" as I grabbed both his hands and started to push him to lie down. Just at that moment I heard "Bella, you home?"

"Shit it is my dad, hurry get dressed. Does it smell like you just ate me out in here?" I was panicking. I threw my clothes on very quickly, minus the lighter blue tank top, and grabbed my body spray, went to the middle of my room and sprayed twice into the air. Then as quietly as I could I went to the door and opened it. I didn't want Charlie to think we had any reason to have the door closed.

After a few minutes when he didn't come upstairs, I realized that he wouldn't have even though he saw Jake's rabbit outside. They trust us, and the only reason I was freaking out is because my guilt was playing games on me, and I knew that the trust they gave us had just been broken.

I turned to Jacob who was grabbing his backpack and I understood that he was getting ready to go home.

We walked downstairs, saying hello to Charlie on our way to the door. Charlie called out "Hey Bells, what ya cooking for dinner? If you have to much work to do on your first day I understand and we can go out"

"No dad, I already finished my work. Jake and I were comparing schools" not a complete lie as we did talk about how his school didn't pass out homework the first week. "I was going to make a honey lemon Salmon, a spinach salad and some garlic rice, does that sound all right to you?

"All right?" he asked "That sounds great Bella, I don't know what I would do without you, and you have completely spoiled me you know that right?"

I smiled at my dad and walked out the front door to Jake's rebuilt car. We stopped at the driver's door and I leaned against it. I thought about what to say for a while before I opened my mouth. But as soon as I started to talk, Jacob put a finger in front of my mouth, and told me "I know Bells, it's not your fault. You can owe me one ok?" he softly chuckled. "Tonight, well tonight was simply a dream come true. I have been wanting to please you, to taste you, and most of all to watch your face when I make you come. Thank you so much for letting me have those things tonight."

Was he seriously thanking me? He just gave me my first real orgasm and he was thanking me? I was speechless, he is perfect. "No Jacob, thank you, you are so amazing, so perfect. I am so glad I get to be with you all the time now, I am so glad I love you, and I am even more glad that you love me."

No more words needed to be exchanged. A small chaste kiss, a few seconds getting lost in each other's eyes, and he drove away.

That was amazing; I am still trying to catch my breath. I have only ever felt like that once before…

Oh My God! What was I going to do? I had only ever felt like that once before, before when I only looked at Edward Cullen.

_A/N Did you like? What did you think? Review review please. Also look for a poll coming up soon in my profile. Love you all!_


	4. Excuse Me

_A/N No lemons in this one but a lot of forward progress. I hope you all love it, sorry it took a little longer to get it up. This was the hardest chapter so far for me to write. Did everyone observe Earth Hour? I did, we need to do something to save this planet, I want to have paper to print wonderful books like Twilight on when my grandchildren are my age. Please review and share my story with your friends. Love you all *Autumn*_

**Things I own: 3 totes filled with Christmas decorations, a ring that spins and has yes and no printed on it to answer your questions, a book about home life in the colonial days and black high heels with zipper teeth on them. Things I am not lucky enough to own: Twilight and anything related. Mrs. Stephanie Meyer has those rights.**

Choose wisely ch 4

BPOV

I struggled sleeping. I went back and forth between emotions. Feeling guilty, feeling like I am somehow emotionally cheating on Jacob, feeling like this is all probably just fantasy and will definitely fade, then feeling like there is no way in hell a something this strong towards some one you have barely interacted with could ever fade.

I finally fell asleep somewhere in all the worrying and tossing. When I woke up, it was because my cell phone was ringing. I looked at the clock, 8:07. Damn it! What happened? Oh yeah I was so tired I kept hitting the snooze button. I answered my phone; it was Jake, of course. He knew I always texted him to have a good day so when I didn't this morning he figured I overslept. It is nice having someone know you so well. See, Edward doesn't know me, Jacob does, and I love Jacob. I am sure if I keep telling myself how much I love Jacob and how he is so perfect for me I will forget about Edward all together.

No time for a shower, I run to the bathroom and cut my normal morning routine down to all of four minutes. I run a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth, definitely not taking the recommended two minutes. Back in my room I chose a pair of very light jeans and a plain white t-shirt over a long sleeved grey thermal shirt. Not the cutest outfit but functional.

I left the house with not enough time to get to school; all I could hope is that there wouldn't be any accidents or flat tires on my way there.

Somehow I got lucky, I made it in time to school and after practically running to Home Ec. I had 30 seconds to put on some mascara and whatever peppermint scented lip balm I had in my backpack.

When Alice saw me doing my morning make up routine she starred in amazement. It was as if she had never seen another girl apply cosmetics. "Oh sorry if I'm gawking, your just so naturally beautiful, I can't believe that's all the make-up you wear" she said with a very sweet demeanor. "Well thanks…um, how was your night?" Asking others how they are or how anything about them went is a good way to make friends, this was included in the lecture Renee, my mom, gave me before I moved here.

"It was good; my brother Edward is acting a little weird. Oh you haven't met him yet, but I was hoping you would sit with us at lunch again today and you can meet him then." Was her response to my making friends 101 question.

"Well actually I have met him, he is my lab partner in Bio", ok so should I fish for more information about him? I could probably lead the conversation in a completely natural way and learn so much about him, but that would just feed the wild animal. I decide to just wait and see what she offers about him.

"Really? His lab partner? Wait he takes AP Bio, so you have AP Bio, sorry I'm processing out loud, and all of this means your drop dead gorgeous without the assistance of makeup and you're smart." She babbled on, drawing conclusions about me. "So when you met him, was he nice to you?"

"Yes, he was very civil" I replied. She noted my choice of word, civil, and raised one eye briefly before dropping it and replacing her facial expression with one of knowledge and understanding.

"I thought he was very nice, and obviously he is very smart." I offered her " I am happy that I have a lab partner who matches my experience and knowledge in the subject" I was grasping for straws here, trying to get her to say something about anything since she had this almost gleeful look on her face after realizing whatever she realized.

When she didn't say anything else I turned my attention back to the teacher, who was going over basic instructions for using the sewing machines. I had a quick thought about my favorite bowling style shirt that ripped down the seam on the side and how I would hopefully learn how to fix it. After quite a few minutes Alice turned to me and asked me if I would sit with them again at lunch. I told her sure; I mean where else would I sit, by myself? I knew that putting myself in such close proximity to Edward for another hour a day would only make this worse but I agreed anyways. I don't know why exactly. If it was because I was afraid that if I denied it would look suspicious to others, or even to me, or I suppose I could be testing myself. No matter what I was torturing myself.

The first four classes went by fast, and better than yesterday. In all of the classes I actually got into the curriculum, and even in Home Ec. I wasn't completely bored. The thought of learning the things that most moms typically teach at least some of to their daughters was a little exciting. The thought of cooking at school and learning new recipes was awesome too. At least I wouldn't fail all of this class.

When lunch came around my insides were all in knots. I felt so nervous and also so excited. I caught myself wondering what he would be wearing, or if he would even talk to me. Then I wondered if we would walk together from lunch to our class. If we didn't walk together, Alice and eventually everyone else would wonder why not.

I went through the line trying to decide what to eat. Nothing sounded appetizing to my butterfly filled tummy. I picked up a bag of pretzels, a cup of cut up fresh fruit containing strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple and watermelon, and Naked juice. I walked over to the table I sat with them at yesterday. Alice, Rosalie, and a strawberry blonde haired girl sat there. I assumed the girl was Edward's Girlfriend, and she is like a model. She is stunning, tall, big eyes, and beautiful hair. I felt a little insecure and caught myself worrying that I was no competition against her. What am I thinking, I love Jacob, I really really love him, and he has been so great, so patient with me. Why am I even thinking about Edward this way?

I sat down next to Alice and it dawned on me that I was going to be the third wheel or seventh wheel if you will. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable after the latest realization when I heard a loud ruckus coming in the doors. I looked over and saw Emmett, Jasper and Edward all running into the cafeteria, yelling and laughing. Emmett was the last one to enter, apparently it was a race. Alice and the other girls all started laughing; they knew exactly what was going on. Rose said "it looks like Emmett is buying lunch again". I guess this was a bet.

Five minutes later the boys got to the table with four trays stacked high with food. There was pizza and fries, salad and pudding, soda and water, there was even a tray just filled with packaged snacks from the vending machine.

Edward sat down next to me and Tanya scooted over next to him, allowing Emmett and Jasper to sit next to their ladies. I tried to keep my breathing steady with him sitting next to me. He looked at me, smiled and said "Good Afternoon Bella. I see you already have lunch for yourself, but I didn't want to be rude and not get you anything. Here" He handed me a sandwich and a coke zero. It was a turkey sandwich with pesto and tomato on whole wheat bread. It was the only decent item out of all the food they bought. I looked from the sandwich to his face with a very confused look. How did he know I ate very healthy? He must have guessed what I was thinking because he answered my unspoken question. "Alice told me how pretty you are… I mean how pretty she thinks you are and that she bets it is because of your diet. She saw you only eat really good food yesterday"

Well he is right, I do try to eat only good, natural healthy food, not that I don't love the occasional strawberry pop tart, but I know it is better for not only me but the environment.

"Bella, I hope I didn't come off as mean yesterday. I was having a very odd day, besides the fact that it was the first day of school. I just wanted to offer my apologies and I hope you accept them" Was he really hoping I would accept them? He could throw me off the empire state building and if he just did the smile he just did I would forgive him. I would always forgive him. I find myself even forgiving him for making me fall for him when I am in love with Jacob. UGH! No! I am not falling for Edward Cullen; I need to wash my brain out with soap since it keeps thinking all these very naughty things.

I decided to play it cool. "No problem Eddie, I understand, weird day and all" after saying this I popped a French fry from his tray into my mouth, hoping that it looked as cool as I does in the movies. Would he mind me calling him Eddie? He got that adorable, fall in love with me half crooked smile again and I knew my calling him Eddie amused him. Since he didn't immediately tell me not to, I took it as an ok thing to do. Everyone else around the table was deep in conversation about a new resale shop opening up in Port Angeles.

"Is there something I don't know about resale shops? This is twice you have brought them up Alice" I gave her a very puzzled look. I mean these people drove nice, fancy cars and often wore brand name clothes the likes of which us regular people weren't even allowed to know how much they cost.

"It's not that we can't shop wherever we want to Bella, it's that we all want to be original. By the time most clothing makes it to the resale stores, almost all other pieces of its kind had left the world of circulation. So you are almost always guaranteed to get something one of a kind. And saving so much money pleases the parents, which is always a bonus."

After Alice educated me in the finer points of thrift store shopping we went on to talk about my makeup habits. Which included her telling Rose and Tanya that I only wore mascara, "And not even black, Brown! Can you believe it, I didn't even know they made brown mascara anymore" she squealed.

It was then that all the girls looked at each other and got the most mischievous grin. They communicated through some form of telepathy for a few seconds then turned to me and all smiled simultaneously. They had something under their sleeves. I had an idea of what it was and I was about to turn them down.

Alice was apparently nominated to speak, "Bella, please listen before saying no. We would love to take you with us to the new resale shop and then go back to Rose and Tanya's house and… please listen… make you over." She started speaking faster; I guess hoping to get in more because she knew I was going to cut her off soon. "It is not that you need a makeover, it is that you are a… blank canvas of sorts… and we would have so much fun"

When she was done talking, I unwrapped the sandwich Edward got me and remembered that I was sitting next to Edward. I looked over at him, and the guys seemed to be in their own conversation, not even paying us any attention. Well Edward was paying me attention, but secretly. When I looked at him he looked at me and smiled. "Need something Isabella?" Ahh there is the retaliation for the Eddie comment, I can handle that, it is so worth it if I can call him Eddie. I shook my head and took a bite while turning my attention back to the ladies. They were still focused on me. No one had moved, no one seemed to have even taken a breath.

"You guys were serious?" and then I started cracking up, absolutely busting at the seams with laughter. Somehow my laughter stopped everyone at the table from talking and all eyes were on me. I knew I was blushing, I could feel the warmth fill my cheeks which was a clear sign to me that I was no longer only pale but a slightly pinker shade of pale.

"Come on, I am not young Brittany Murphy and this is not Clueless" I guess that was all that was needed because all the girls slumped, sighed and rolled their eyes at the same time, as if choreographed. I am so glad they didn't put up a bigger fight. It was not the first time someone had tried to convince to me to allow them to make me over but after the first time and the results of said first time, I was never doing it again. All I am going to say is pony tails, neon green and orange lipstick.

Once they had moved on to other topics Edward leaned into me but did not turn his head in my direction, and whispered "Great job, not many people stand up and say no to them, I know I don't know you well but I am proud of you. By the way seeing how our class is on the other end of the school, I think we should leave a few minutes before the others, you know to make sure we get there on time."

Ok Bella, breathe, inhale… exhale…repeat. So Edward wants to walk with me to class. He wants to leave a few minutes early, and I had a feeling he didn't regularly do this, and he is proud of me. Proud of me. My brain literally doesn't know where to start. My face does though. He wasn't even finished talking when I started blushing. I tried to fiddle with my hair, doing anything I could to cover as much of my face as I could, but all I could really do was hope no one was paying too much attention to me. I looked up and around the table and everyone was busy eating or talking. Everyone except Tanya. Tanya was looking right at me and Edward, and I could tell the red in her face was not an innocent blush; her face was red with anger.

EPOV

So I did it, I stepped up and told Bella we should leave a few minutes early and walk together to class. I hope she didn't read too much into it. Hopefully she bought my excuse about it being farther away. She gave me a small smirk and a nod. Joy filled me; I was so excited just to have five minutes alone with her. I know this is wrong. I know I should spend those extra five minutes with Tanya, that I should want to spend those minutes with Tanya, but the fact is I don't. I spent most of last night thinking about this situation.

I mostly thought about Bella, about her exquisite blushing, the way she smells deliciously like strawberries, her adorable smile, her intelligence even the clothes she was wearing. I drew conclusions about the type of person I think she is. My best evaluations tell me she is a responsible person who is also conservative, smart, kind, decent, and loving. I did think about Tanya too. I thought about the type of person she is, I thought about our relationship, about how much I love her, and I thought about our future. I spent a lot of time thinking about our future or if we were even meant to have one. At this point it was easier for me to envision a future with Bella than with Tanya. I don't know why that is I just know that it is.

When Bella called me Eddie I loved it. In my life a few people have tried to call me that and I always hated it. It sent chills down my spine. When Bella called me Eddie it also sent chills, beautiful awesome life changing chills. I loved hearing her speak my name, and I loved that she put thought into trying to find a cute something that would possibly annoy me. I couldn't resist calling her Isabella in return. Somehow I knew she wouldn't like it but it would be worth it if it meant she got to call me Eddie.

After telling her I was proud of her I watched her eyes look around the table and land on Tanya. All of a sudden I was scared. I knew from Bella's expression that Tanya must have heard and seen our interaction. I sat up and took a bite of a cheeseburger. I figured if I acted completely normal, like what just occurred between me and Bella didn't just in some ways reevaluate our relationship, then maybe Tanya would move on and chalk it up to picking up on something that wasn't there. I joined in on a conversation the boys were having about the 'Ultimate Fighting Championship: Wired' show on T.V. and Tanya picked up a bag of Doritos and started eating them, listening in on Rose talking about shoes or something.

About five minutes out I kissed Tanya and motioned to Bella that we should go. Alice noticed that I was leaving earlier than usual and just had to ask about it. "Where are you and Bella going big brother?" nice Alice, add the me and Bella in there, but it's ok, you can reassure Tanya later. "I wanted to leave a little earlier cause I figured if I am walking with another person I would walk slower to class and its all the way by the parking lot so…" was my retort. "Makes sense" was all she said in return.

I held my hand out insisting that Bella walk ahead of me. When we got to the doors of the cafeteria I opened the door for her, which she clearly was not expecting me to do. The pink that filled her cheeks resembled that of the rouge made out of crushed rose petals women wore in the 20th century. It is literally the most beautiful thing I had even seen in my life. She went through the door and paused waiting for me to catch up.

We began walking along the pathway toward our class room. The halls were empty bar from the occasional couple kissing.

"Edward, it doesn't really take that long to get to the Biology building and Alice confirmed that you don't leave this early so what is going on? Is this some sort of prank? A hazing of sorts for the new girl?" Genuine worry filled her face as she spoke. She actually believed I could let something hurtful or humiliating happen to her. I would have to change this ill conceived notion of me.

"No Bella, I…" should I tell her that I am in love with her? Would she think me crazy for admitting such deep feelings for her when I barely know her? If I didn't choose honesty in this moment, would I even be able to successfully lie to her? I would have to try for two reasons. I was not ready to tell her my feelings yet because I myself had not uncovered all of them, and the second reason is Tanya. All though I knew Tanya and I could not in good conscience continue our relationship, I was not going to do anything dishonest that could humiliate her without ending it first.

I realized I had gotten lost in thought and hadn't yet answered her question. We had also slowed our pace so we were barely moving. She looked at me expectantly but the expression was starting to transform to frustration.

"Bella, I don't know how to answer your question and be honest with you without hurting someone else and betraying that someone at the same time. Please let me postpone answering this question, and I promise you will receive your answer at a more fair and appropriate time." I pleaded with her. I was praying she would let this answer be sufficient and that she is not the type of person who just digs further when you don't answer their question with the answer they wanted.

My prayers were answered as she did not ask anymore about it. She did look very interested and a little confused though.

While we walked I asked her about her parents and she asked about mine. We talked about Arizona and about Forks. We got into the subject of music, which usually ignites me, but we seemed to have a very similar taste in all things art.

When we got to the class the door was already unlocked but Mr. Banner was not in the room. We walked in and sat at our table. Our table. This table is the first thing that we shared. I really hoped that it is the first of many things we would share and also the first of many firsts. Having that thought got me thinking about making love to Bella, which is a subject I try not to let my mind wander into very much. But when Bella was the one I was making love to, I had a very difficult time bringing myself back to reality. I could see how her naked body would blush just as her cheeks do, how comfortable she is with me, how her soft tendrils framed her face and decorated my pillow…

"Edward? You in there?" Oh Shit, act cool.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't sleep well last night" that was always an acceptable excuse to fellow teenagers.

"Me either, I even woke up late and didn't have sufficient time to get ready for school" she said as she obviously accepted it. I couldn't believe she was rushed to get ready, she looked magnificent, and she was positively glowing.

"Why couldn't you sleep" We said this at the same time. The same words at exactly the same time and then we started laughing. Laughing with her felt so right. It felt like this is what I was made for. Making Bella laugh was now my primary goal in life.

"Ladies first please" I insisted.

"I um… I had some pretty heavy stuff on my mind. If my boyfriend Jacob wouldn't have called I would have been late on my second day at this school"

"Oh yeah I just didn't really sleep, I am sure I got ten or 20 minutes here or there but after five in the morning I was up. I just, well I also had some 'pretty heavy stuff' on my mind."

After saying this we both drifted deep into thought. I wish I knew what she was thinking about. I wish she was thinking about the same thing as me. But I knew she was probably thinking about this Jacob, mental note: find out more about this Jacob, or maybe she was lost thinking about whatever kept her up last night. It was times like right now that I really wished I could read minds, that could be so helpful.

We continued talking about trivial things, more music, our classes, 'the others' we called them, our little nod to the awesomeness that is Lost. She told me about her Home Economics class. A rush of still images came to me. Bella in an apron, Bella cooking something that smells almost as good as her, her sewing hems or fixing tears in my clothes, Bella crying sweet tears of joy as I placed a ring on her finger.

Wow, this feeling for her has completely taken over. What am I going to do? I know one thing, I need to be fair to Tanya, I need to end things with her and I need to do it now.

"I'm sorry Bella, I need to excuse myself. I will hopefully be back before the end of class. Since it is the second day I am sure there won't be any work to do but if there is I will make it up to you. I just have something to take care of that cannot wait any longer. Again I am sorry." I stood quickly, savoring my courage. I walked towards the door, fighting the traffic of other students entering the class room. Just as I reached the door, I turned to tell her one more thing, "Oh Bella, next time I see you, I will be able to answer your question" she smiled the smile I was looking for and I didn't need courage to do what I was about to do anymore, all I needed was the memory of that smile and the love it brought about in my heart. I turned out the door and was off to break Tanya's heart.

_Well what did you think? I hoped you like it and remember more reviews = more writing_

_Have a wonderful day!_


	5. Spontaneous

_A/N I know for some other stories four reviews would barely be noticeable, and other stories like our beloved Wide Awake deserve thousands upon thousands of reviews. But I am so friggin happy for my 16 reviews. Every time I check my mail and it says 'FF review alert' my heart goes a twitter (and not the website twitter cause I just haven't gotten into that movement). So this is my major thanks to everyone who reviews. And because of you wonderful people I am going to do my very best to push out ch 5 today and if something gets in my way I have an idea for a treat for all the registered reviewers. Love you all!_

_*Autumn*_

**Things I own: FALLOUT 3 for the 360, boyfriend jeans that I actually purchased with holes in them, about a hundred home schooling books (yes I home school, no flaming please) and every season of 24, Alias, Moonlight, Christy (ok they are only 1 season in their entirety) and Felicity and some seasons of Nip/Tuck, ThunderCats and Gilmore Girls. Now, laugh as you will. Things I wish I owned: Twilight, Robert Pattinson, but most of all Kellan Lutz, yummy!**

**Choose Wisely ch 5**

EPOV

After leaving the Biology room I actually had a little pep in my step. I was feeling a rainbow of emotions. I was so excited about Bella, I wanted to shout to the roof tops that I had fallen in love with the new girl and that she is positively the most amazing person to grace the likes of this planet, but on the other end of the rainbow I felt dread, sadness, guilt, worry, and betrayal. I knew I had to break up with Tanya, I knew the moment Bella stole my heart from her that it was no longer fair for me to go around pretending my heart still belonged to Tanya. I had no idea what I was going to say. How can someone have so much pep and be scared shitless at the same time. I was also a little afraid of Jasper and Emmett. I know they are my boys but I don't know if that is based at least partially on me loving their baby sister. I will admit that I need my boys, they help keep me sane. I was so terrified that my breaking up with Tanya would jeopardize everything. Would my sisters hate me too? Oh my God, maybe I didn't think this through. I stopped walking, breathing was becoming difficult, and I couldn't tell if my heart was beating much faster or had practically stopped beating.

What am I doing? I do know that I still need to end things, that I still love Bella and that I want to be with her. I also know making this rash decision could potentially leave me all alone. For all I knew, Bella could find out I did it this way and want nothing to do with me out of fear that I would do the same to her. Ok now that things are becoming clearer I am developing a Plan B. I will talk to the others about my feelings, tell them about my unparalleled love and undeniable connection I have with Bella, and I will explain to them that while I do still love Tanya very much and appreciate all the history we share, I have to follow my heart. I will tell them that I honestly believe that this thing with Bella is a once in a lifetime kind of love that you hear about only in the great American novels.

Ok so this is my new plan. The ultimate goal being that I break up with Tanya and live, hopefully, happily ever after with Bella. I just need to talk to the others about this before I actually break up with her. But should I tell Bella of my feelings for her? The answer to this question came much too easily. I had to tell her. Every passing moment my love for her was growing and I don't believe I would be successful at hiding it much longer. I didn't want her thinking I was crazy or a stalker, I wanted to declare my affections and I prayed they are not unrequited. I sat there for a moment longer, just staring at my shoes. Then I heard a husky kind of choppy voice, "Mr. Cullen, do you have permission to be sitting out here apparently examine your shoes?" the voice came from a teacher I did not recognize and whose name I did not know although he obviously knew who I am. I stood, dusted myself off and apologized for my unexcused roaming of the hallway.

I headed back to Bio and got there while Mr. Banner was still demonstrating how to properly cover our text books with a paper bag. Bella had wrapped her book and had moved on to mine. I realized I forgot my backpack and everything. She must have gone into my backpack to get my text book and was wrapping it for me. When I got to the table my book was wrapped and sitting perfectly in my spot of the table. I looked at her and she smiled before returning her attention back to Mr. Banner. She must have really not given a second thought to my sudden departure.

I opened the book to page 12, the page we were directed to open it to. As soon as I opened it the pages flipped back and the book was there with only the cover open. It was then that I noticed that not only had Bella wrapped my book she also left me a message. Her handwriting was charming and I couldn't wait to read the inscription but also wanted so badly to savor this moment. I ran my finger over the words, hoping to absorb whatever emotion drove this message. I glanced at her and she was looking ahead but she was smiling a smile that clearly didn't fit Mr. Banner's very boring lecture. She was smiling knowing I found her small but so significant gift to me. I love this girl. I looked back down to the words and they read

Eddie,

The words I choose for this note could not possibly express the felling behind each letter. So I will choose wisely, because it is so important to me that you understand. I have never met a person who I craved to get to know as much as you. I don't know your feelings about developing a friendship with me, but for me it is not a debatable thing. I know that we are meant to be in each other's lives, and maybe someday you might feel this too. I hope you like your new book cover.

Love

Isabella

Oh my God, was she telling me she feels about me the way I feel about her? She has a boyfriend so there is no way she loves me too, or even likes me. Who am I kidding I have a girlfriend and a little over 24 hours ago my girlfriend was the majority of my life, so if it is possible for me it has to be possible for her to right? Oh please let it be possible. I know for sure now that my heart is beating out of my chest. I don't think I have ever been this excited. I feel like Rudolph in the classic Christmas cartoon screaming "She likes me, she really likes me!"

I tried to remain collected. But all I could think about was grabbing her beautiful face and kissing her. Calm down Edward, you are in public and you don't want to send her panicking from you.

To acknowledge her note I leaned in and whispered "Thank you and my feelings mirror yours"

This apparently made her happy because she smiled the smile I love. We turned our attention to Mr. Banner, and he was being exceptionally boring today. I started tapping my pen against the table and after a minute Bella noticed. "Ring of fire huh? I didn't know you were a Johnny Cash fan"

"Well I am finding that I am relating to this song very much right now" I told her, hoping she would catch on but also hoping she wouldn't.

"Who is causing the fire?" she asked

I chuckled a little, afraid to tell her but I didn't want to lie either. "The fire is caused by this girl who is very good at wrapping books" I knew she would figure that out, it probably wouldn't even require effort for Bella.

She looked happy. Just happy. Was she really happy that she was the cause of my fire? Ok this back and forth banter, all this beating around the bush is starting to get old, I need to talk to her. I need to lay it all out and just tell her the truth. She may not feel the same, although her note implies otherwise. Whether my feelings for her are mutual or not I just have to tell her.

"Hey Bella, I wouldn't normally ask you to do this and I will probably never ask you to do this again, but would you be willing to ditch last period and go somewhere with me? I really need to talk to you" I pleaded, hoping so much that she would agree.

"Edward, it is the second day of school, and you want to ditch?" I didn't reply, and I don't think she really expected one. "Ok, I'm in, for you to ask me this today, it must be a pretty important thing you need to talk to me about. Where are we going to go?"

"I don't know where do you want to go?" I asked

"Well… I need a few things from Wal-Mart, want to go there?" was she really asking me to go to Wal-Mart? I don't go to Wal-Mart. The last time I went there it was with the boys and it was to get a plastic kiddy pool for Jell-O wrestling. The memories of all those sophomore girls in bikinis wrestling in strawberry Jell-O, ah strawberries, Bella, my love for Bella, talking to Bella, ok Edward back to reality.

"Yeah, if you want to go to Wal-Mart I will defiantly go with you" I told her but the real truth is I would go anywhere with Bella.

BPOV

He asked me to ditch and even let me choose the location in which we would be spending our last hour of our school day. I wanted to throw him off his game a little, to test him, so I chose Wal-Mart. It was not a hard decision. I wanted to see how he would react to the crowds and the smell and the possibility of someone not speaking English. He accepted the challenge like a man. I was excited about it.

He kept looking at the book, sometimes opening it and running his long thin fingers over the words, I guess the pen left an imprint. Every time he did this he again gave me my favorite smile. I had never felt chemistry like this before and I wanted him to know, which is why I covered his book and wrote the note. I tried to keep it PG in case Tanya was to ever see it. But what I really wanted to write is I am madly in love with you, run away with me. I have never had sex but since meeting you all I can think about is having never ending sex with you. You are the most beautiful man; I could not imagine another soul, another body to even compare to you. So yeah that would probably be a bit much.

When Edward disappeared I played cool. I wanted so badly to know where he was going with such intensity and purpose. When he told me that when he returned he would answer my question that made me very happy. I really wanted to know the answer to why he wanted to leave for class so early. I was hoping that it was because he wanted to spend time with me but I figured a more realistic explanation was that he was having an argument or fight with one of the others.

Oh yeah, the question… I leaned in, he didn't say anything. His hands were on the desk; I glanced down to them and seriously thought about taking one of his hands in mine. I placed my hand on the desk also, not quite sure if I wanted to make that move. What if there were no feelings on his end, do I really want to make the first move, would it be considered cheating or cheesy? So many thoughts ran through my mind. It was then that it seemed as though Edward was reading my mind because he reached out his right hand and grabbed my left. Oh My Goodness!!! That is all I can think, oh my goodness, Edward Cullen is holding my hand. I felt like a sixth grader again. His hand was smooth and cold. It felt so good against my skin. I know I was blushing, probably from head to toe this time. Wait, I was supposed to be doing something, but I can't remember what. Something about a question, a question, asking Edward a question. I could not for the life of me remember what it was with him holding my hand.

What did this new hand holding mean. Was there something going on between us. If there is what about Jacob. I couldn't stay with Jake if it was a possibility to be with Edward but I don't want to break his heart. I do honestly love Jacob, very much. We have a really good thing going. We complement each other so perfectly, he keeps me safe what with me being so clumsy, and I cook and clean for him. Because his mom had passed away and his sisters had moved away for college, Jake had not had a real home cooked meal or an entire dresser of clean clothes until I moved here.

All of a sudden the glorious hand holding started becoming riddled with guilt. I loved holding his hand but I felt like we were cheating on our significant others. I pulled my hand away, to Edwards disliking and gave him a small 'I'm sorry' grin.

When not touching or being touched by him I could again think clearly. I even remembered what I was supposed to ask him. "So Eddie, you said when you got back you would answer my question from earlier. The previous... hand holding" I said hoping he thought of it this way also, "was definitely what I would call physical evidence to you being 'back' so spill buddy"

He looked like he was deep in thought, hopefully not spinning an intricate web of lies or watered down truths to tell me now that he was put on the spot.

"Bella, I am never going to lie to you, but this question is not a simple one. It cannot be answered with a few words nor in a high school classroom. I will gladly answer it during our excursion to Wal-Mart if that is satisfactory to you." Was the answer he gave.

"Well how about the hand holding, was it hand holding to you?" I asked next

"Isabella, what is this 20 questions?" he teased "Yes it was holding hands; it was a very spontaneous decision but an impactful one for sure. I know we have a lot to talk about and we will I assure you. I am also sorry for making you feel uncomfortable by holding you hand. I hope to do it again someday in the future when it is more proper and not wrong." Was his answer to this question and I was glad I even got an answer...

I was very pleased with this answer.

When the bell rang he grabbed his cell phone and sent a quick text message. He didn't tell me who it was to but I assumed it was making arrangements to get Tanya home since the nearest Wal-Mart is in Port Angeles and it takes almost an hour one way to get there.

I looked at him and said "You drive" simple as that. I figured his car is faster than my truck which is the only one of its nearly extinct species.

We headed towards the parking lot, keeping a watchful eye for any teachers or adults in general. When we were sure we got into his Volvo. "I like your car Eddie, it is very… clean" I said with a bit of snide in my tone, which he appeared to love.

He turned the car on and began driving. He was driving pretty fast, almost 90 miles per hour. He sensed my anxiety about his speed of choice and slowed down to 80. "Whew thank god you slowed down those eight mph, I thought I was going to die for a moment there" I sarcastically joked.

"So Bella, what's at Wal-Mart that you need?" he questioned, but it seemed as though he was actually trying to learn more about me.

"Answers" was all I gave him

_A/N: Sorry it is a bit on the short side but I didn't want to force it to be long unnaturally. Things didn't go quite as you expected huh? Have patience, it will happen. What do you all think of the impromptu hand holding? Were they cheating?_

_Remember that reviews are like strawberry pop tarts_


	6. Different Worlds

_A/N First, no offensie meant to anyone whose lives may be affected by the condition Edward offers as a possiblity, you'll see. 2nd, sorry this took a little longer than usual. I was stressing way more than normal for me to get this chapter right. I have fallen in love with my versions of E/B and needed it to go just right. I hope you all enjoy it, its a little longer than the other chapters I think. Please review and give your opinions, suggestions etc. I am also still looking for a beta, so if you are one or know of a good one, by all means consider me please. Right now me and my best friend **Topaz1082 **have been helping each other with our stories but we are so close I am afraid our brains are too similar to truly be objective. Check out her story, A Life Reborn, its awesome!_

**_Things I own: Earrings that_ are screws, 1 of those new glade motion sensor air fresheners, FloJos black flip flops, a sewing machine that intimidates me but I love it dearly. Things I don't own: Twilight, Edward and Bella, those are Stephanie Meyer's, I just make them all conteplative and mushy in my way.**

_Love you all_

_*Autumn*_

_Choose Wisely Ch 6_

"So Bella, what's at Wal-Mart that you need?" he questioned, but it seemed as though he was actually trying to learn more about me.

"Answers" was all I gave him.

BPOV

During the ride to Wal-Mart we chatted about nothing and everything.

"So how long have you and Tanya been together? I pried.

"How long? Um, well so long that I can't really remember how long. I think since about sixth grade… yeah we were 12 or so." He shared with me, although I wasn't completely expecting him to go into it that much. I was glad he did. I just smiled and watched him drive.

He looked over at me, saw me smiling, looked back to the road and added "Yeah Tanya is… well she is a great girl."

Hmm… I thought about his last two statements, and then I thought about the kinda sorta hand holding incident, and then I just thought "What the Fuck!?!"

Well I thought I thought it but apparently I said it out loud. Edward's face changed very quickly from excited and relaxed to confused and… a little disturbed I think. I still don't know him well, which is another problem in its self.

He sat for a minute, silent, probably thinking, maybe figuring out where that came from or if he caused it.

Finally, he spoke. "Bella… I am trying to figure out how to respond to your random outburst. I have come up with three possibilities. One, you have Tourette's."

I started to laugh at his imagination but choked it back. He noticed and smiled, glad to have amused me. "Two, you saw something very strange outside, a man peeing on the side of the road perhaps or a dog humping a deer"

Again I laughed, this time unable to hold it back as much, and again he smiled, even bigger. "Or three, and this is the most probable one to me, I did or said something to cause the sudden need to scream expletives."

The silence filling the car was suffocating, but I didn't know how to answer him. Up to this point I had tried to be honest without being obvious, but I don't think I can apply that here. So I inhaled until my lungs could hold no more air, closed my eyes and let the truth spill forth.

"After you told me about you and Tanya and how you have been together for, well forever really, and then you told me she was a 'great girl'" I used air quotes for the great girl part. "I was trying to understand where the impromptu hand holding with me, and even where this trip, fits in." Whew I did it.

His face seemed strained, as though he was trying to remember something that was on the tip of his tongue. I guess he was trying to see it from my point of view, at least I hope that is what he is doing.

After what felt like several minutes later, he took his equivalent of my big breath, and let his thoughts spill.

"Bella, I love Tanya, I really do but…" And he paused, looked at me and pulled off the freeway and to the side of a road near a pumpkin patch.

He sat in silence for a long while. I thought his big breath meant he was going to have a cathartic exercise like me, guess not.

"But?" I asked, seriously running out of patience.

Several more seconds of nothing and then he turned his body, so his right leg was bent on the seat, lying sideways and he was completely facing me.

"I wasn't completely ready to do this, but here goes nothing" another big breath, and finally he spilt.

"Like I was saying I do love Tanya, and she is a great girl, but since I met you, well since I met you I have been confused about my future. Where I used to always see me and her, now I see me and, well maybe me and you. But I am very confused because I barely know you. I just met you yesterday. How can a person meet someone and change everything about their life? I don't really know Bella, I just… I don't know."

I am unable to think. Actually not having the ability to think anything except that I can't think.

All right, I need to break this down. I like Edward, is it like? It feels more like love. Whatever, I some word that begins with an L Edward, and he just told me that he likes me too. Right? That is what he said, I think. He said he sees me and him in his future. Do I see him in my future? What about Jacob? Oh God, I know I love Jacob, there is no debate about that, but this thing, this feeling with Edward is something else. It is unworldly, I cannot deny it, and it seems to have taken me over, not even allowing me to think about anything else. I need to figure this out; I need to know what is in my future. I don't know how to find that out but I have to.

I realized we had been sitting for quite a while, not talking. I am sure he wants some sort of reply, but I still wasn't able to form sentences. Every time I attempted to form one in my head, only sounds came to mind. Ugh, Agh, Ack, Huh, Ooh, sigh.

So I looked up and met his eyes, spit out "processing" and pointed to my head, which apparently was sign language for processing.

He nodded, folded his arms and didn't say another word. I appreciated this. It gave me the minutes I needed to gather the information I had, process it and form a plan.

"What about Tanya? And Jacob?" I started my flow, letting the words land, on his mind and in his heart, wherever they may.

"I understand your feelings because" I paused, a little afraid to reveal this, but he had made himself vulnerable to me, so I would for him too. "I share them. I have the same confusing, new, scary, amazing feelings you have. But I love Jacob, I need him. We have been through a lot together. I know it is real. Did you know the first six months of our relationship were long distance?" I questioned him, and he just shook his head.

"Yeah, he lived here, I lived in Phoenix. But we love each other so I knew it would work, somehow. But now, now I have no idea how it can work. I mean, I don't think I even know who I am anymore and you… you are so… there."

I took a breath, and looked at him. I had been twisting the draw strings on my sweater, and they had formed little circles which I let twirl undone. I waited… for something. I didn't know what I would do if he said 'Your right'. Would I feel better, knowing all the complicated could dissipate, or would I feel crushed, that my one opportunity for real, grade A love just… agreed with me?

"Oh Bella, I know this is terribly confusing, and sad and scary, but what should we do? Because I can't stay away from you. I think Fate, or something is pulling me to you, and no matter what I do, your face fills my mind, your sweet smell fills my nose, your voice, your beautiful voice is all I can hear…"

He reached out and took my hand. I almost pulled away, but he was right, something was pulling us together and being away from him was getting harder and harder as the seconds passed.

"Bella, we will figure this all out ok? For now, let's just get to know each other. Is that acceptable with you?"

"Um, get to know each other, um… yeah that works" sentences still proved difficult.

He smiled my smile, the one that makes my heart swell, and I got lost in it. Staring into his eyes, figuring out him and this .And then he leaned in a few inches before he stopped and in one very swift movement, pulled back, turned around and started the car.

Did he want to kiss me? Oh my goodness, I think he wanted to kiss me. I am not ready for this, I need more time. I need more processing. I was not ready to kiss anyone else, especially Edward Cullen. But then why did I almost lean in too?

EPOV

After pulling the car over and parking I tried to gather my thoughts. I knew what I needed to say, I knew the seriousness and impact of what I needed to say, but I didn't want to have to say it yet. How did this all happen so damn fast?

I obviously couldn't leave her hanging with 'But' and I didn't want to lie to her, so ready or not, I was about to spill my guts and feelings to this woman whom I barely know but have come to need so desperately.

"I wasn't completely ready to do this, but here goes nothing" I told her and proceeded to tell her everything.

I told her about how I love Tanya but see my future with her. I tried the best I could under the circumstances and with no preparation to tell her how much I need her, without overwhelming her.

When I was done, she didn't speak, she didn't even move really. After sometime she said "processing" and pointed to her head. I wondered if anyone had ever told her how adorable she is.

She picked up the drawstring from her sweater and began twisting it. I watched as her nimble but slightly clumsy fingers rolled and twirled the very lucky string. I thought about Bella making these moves with my hair instead. Man this girl has really gotten into me.

After some more time, she started talking while simultaneously letting go of the looped string creation, and she watched it spin. She told me she feels the same for me but that she loves Jacob very much. She told me about their relationship being a long distance one for a while. I stayed on that for a minute deciding if that made them stronger and therefore more difficult to break up or if it meant they really didn't know or love each other enough and it would be easy. Then I kicked myself for having such selfish thoughts.

I tried to comfort her, to let her know these emotions were difficult and scary for me to, but I ended up telling her how much she means to me. Then I told her that we would figure this all out and for now to just get to know each other.

She seemed ok with this and I smiled.

When I smiled she looked at me in a way she had never looked at me before. It was like she was seeing through my eyes, into my heart. Like she wanted me, like she needed me. I was hypnotized by her in that moment and I started to lean in to kiss her. When I began moving towards her, her expression changed ever so slightly, just enough to snap me out of the trance she had put me in. Instantly I realized what I had done and I sat up and started the car.

She looked… a little sad? And definitely confused.

"So Wal-Mart?" I asked her because I wasn't sure anymore.

"Well yeah, I mean what else would ditching school be worth it for?" she snapped back sarcastically. I looked at her and she had this almost devious smile on her face, I loved it.

"Ok, if you still want to go, I will, but… well let's just get there." I replied.

The drive was quiet. We still had about 20 minutes left to our destination. I kept thinking about my stupidity. How could I lean in like that? I really hope she doesn't know my intentions because I think it would scare her. I know she told me my feelings were mutual, but she also clearly expressed that her feelings for Jacob, her love for him, was very strong and a major complication for her. Kissing her would only anger her.

I was already baffled by the hand holding in bio earlier, but tried to chalk it up to some overwhelming emotion that took me over. It could be considered cheating I suppose, but it really wasn't that bad. Kissing on the other hand, kissing is cheating to me. If I would have kissed Bella, I would have cheated on Tanya and made her cheat on Jacob. But I kept telling myself "You didn't kiss her Edward, get over it!"

When we pulled up to Wal-Mart, I looked for a parking spot semi close to the entrance. Less chance of people seeing me if I have less distance from my car to the building. What am I thinking, who would see me? It isn't like Rose or Jazz would ever shop here. I shared a private little laugh with myself and Bella mistook it as me laughing At Wal-Mart.

"Eddie, it isn't that bad you will see." I love when she calls me Eddie.

We got out of the car and started walking. "I wasn't laughing about that." I informed her.

"Oh, I'm sorry I just figured…" was what she said. She didn't ask me what I was laughing about. I wonder why.

We walked into Wal-Mart and I figured we were supposed to get one of gray plastic carts. I walked to them, trying to show a little chivalry, but Bella yelled to me from around the corner, holding up a small, hand held blue basket. We walked around a little, just meandering through the aisles. We eventually found our way to where they had organized all of the personal hygiene items into several shelves.

I was looking at how cheap shampoo is here when I heard Bella, "Edward, where are you?" I followed her voice to find her standing in, of all places, the tampon aisle. "What the Fuck!?!" I quoted her from earlier. "Did you seriously call me over here to help you pick out… women... special… those?" I pointed to the contents of the shelf in front of us.

"Oh grow up Edward Cullen. I am sure you have had your fair share of pregnancy scares and been so thrilled when you took Tanya to this aisle instead of the one about two over." She quipped.

I looked two isles over and saw condoms. OK, what's the big deal about condoms? "Look a little lower on the shelf Bud" I guess she noticed my shrug at the condoms, so I looked lower. My eyes met several boxes in varying shades of blue or pink. "Oh" was all I could muster.

It was then that I realized Bella thought of me that way. Well, she thought I was, as the adults say, "sexually active"

"Um, Bella, this is kind of Awkward, but I um, well, I…" I searched for the least embarrassing way to admit I was a virgin, and by choice, but failed to come up with one, and therefore stumbled all over my words.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy Cullen, spit it out"

"Well, ok fine. I am a virgin! There I said it." And I could swear I was blushing, right there by the Always with wings and the mini floral scented panty liners. What the hell is a panty liner anyway?

Bella just looked shocked. I couldn't even tell if she believed me or not.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she told me. "It's just; I didn't know guys were waiting too."

She said too, she said waiting too. Does that mean she is waiting? Oh God that would be great for us. To have our first times be together. I mean with the electricity we share I can only imagine… No, No imagining for me. Change of topic…

"Got what ya need?" I asked as I looked into her still empty basket. Then I looked back up to her, giving her a very puzzled look. She smiled, through a blue and yellow box into the basket and walked past me. But when she walked past me, she had to push her body up against mine to avoid hitting a poll with a phone on it. The feel of her breath on me, her hair landing on my chest, gently sliding off, and her breasts becoming slightly squished onto my ribs was about as much as I could take.

Why do I need to distract myself so often? I need to get into more open space I figured.

I followed after her, trying to catch up with her fast pace without running. I didn't want to look like a bride at a wedding gown sale.

"Bella!" I finally called, trying to get her to stop. Which she did. I walked to her at a normal pace now and she looked so smug. It was right then I got it. Bella never needed to go to Wal-Mart, what Bella needed was to get me out of my comfort zone. How conniving, how deceiving, how cruel, how perfect.

"All right, I get it, we can go now, I had a large piece of humble pie, and I got to see the huge differences between us. You are successful. Please let's go somewhere neutral. Please?" I practically begged, trying to will her smile to turn into a yes.

"I just don't know that I am convinced Eddie. Our worlds are drastically different. No matter the… this thing we have going on, whatever it is, we have to also face reality. Are you sure you have faced it?"

I thought about everything. As though I was dying, my life flashed before me and suddenly I felt completely panicked. I needed air. I gave in and ran to the doors. Bella just watched me. When I got outside I crumbled, falling to my knees, flooded with the thought and emotions that had invaded me over the past two days. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know how I even felt anymore.

I need space, I need comfort, I need love, I need familiar, I need air and breath, I need to run but I also need to curl up in my bed and allow myself to escape to my head. I felt like what I really needed was my best friend, but my best friend is Tanya and I just can't go to her for this. I thought about the guys, or even Alice, but it didn't seem right either. I thought about Bella, but well she is the biggest part of the problem. At this moment I didn't have a single person to spill my heart to because at this moment my heart had betrayed me.

I looked up and saw Bella standing over me. She looked sad and concerned and a little bit of something else that I couldn't figure out considering I really don't know her. But I longed to know her, to know every detail of her life, her habits, her routine, her psyche and her body. The last one of those being the one that bothered me the most because I had desired to know all of this about Tanya for so long, and all though I wanted to know Tanya's body, I very easily resisted it. I was not easily resisting the hunger for knowledge about every curve of Bella's anatomy.

"Edward, I think we both have had enough for the day, I think you should take me back to get my truck so I can go home" she informed me. I thought about her rusty beat up excuse for transportation and quivered at the thought of her safety for the less than a mile from her home to the school in that thing.

"You think you can make it from school to your house in that scrap metal on wheels?" I joked.

"Not everyone has multitudes of money to spend on fancy cars and expensive clothes Edward, the rest of us Wal-Mart people have to get by, and a Mercedes or Lexus just doesn't fit into my budget. Free, which is what my truck cost me, does however fit into it very nicely!" she was almost yelling. I could tell I had really pissed her off. I knew I needed to apologize for freaking out, but I wasn't sure how yet. Hopefully sooner rather than later in our hour long car ride I would figure it out.

"All right Bella, I'll take you back" I agreed, but I sounded so desperate. I knew there was a chance that I had ruined whatever this could have been. I have jumped to far ahead to damn fast.

We walked to the car, got in and started the trip home. Bella sat on the seat next to me but felt so far away. Somehow in such a short time this girl, this strong, pushy, vulnerable, stunning girl, had become my life. I knew I was a bastard, an asshole for allowing this to be, for what I knew was going to happen with me and Tanya whether Bella and I were ever together or not. I am a jerk because my heart has made me so.

As I was driving and she was twirling her draw strings again. I noticed that this was a nervous or anxious behavior, that she fiddles when she feels that way. It was in that moment, that instant when I realized I learned something new about her that I knew without any fraction of doubt that I had to learn everything about her. Learning such a small piece of her was feeding my soul, my heart. All of a sudden I felt ravenous, not in the sense of needing food, but in needing my heart to be fed. I felt as though it was empty, maybe it has been empty for some time now, but I realized that Bella provided me with something that Tanya never could. She gave me fulfillment, hope, butterflies, desire, dreams; she filled the other half of my soul. A half I didn't even know I was missing. But does anyone realize it was missing until they stumble upon the other piece?

I felt like I was having an epiphany, like the purpose of my life had been realized and it was sitting next to be, sulking and rolling a piece of string between her fingers, scared.

Scared, Bella looked scared, and I was scared. Wait, I knew I was scared before, but am I scared now? I don't think so. All I feel is… exhale. Now I understood Whitney Houston, I understood now that I was waiting for Bella, or rather my heart was waiting for her without my knowledge of it. Everything made sense, even my reluctance to physical intimacy with Tanya. I am just an old fashioned guy, and it never felt right to make love to her. It didn't feel right because my heart, my uncompleted heart knew that Tanya was who I loved then, but Bella was who my heart was designed for. I would be able to give Bella all of me, all of every part of me. This whole time I kept thinking my heart had betrayed me, that it had betrayed Tanya, but the truth is my heart was looking after me. It was patiently waiting for Isabella Swan to move to Forks and change my life forever. My heart was having me choose wisely who I gave it fully to, without my permission, but with my eternal gratitude.

I looked at her again, glancing quickly from the road. She reached up and scratched her neck, moving her hair aside so I could be privy to seeing her do such a normal every day human thing, a thing that gave my soul another bite.

"Bella" I said her name quietly, under my breath, as if I was answering a question to myself.

She heard me "Yeah?" she sounded so tired, emotionally exhausted.

How do you tell someone you just had a revelation that they are the person God created to make you whole? How do you tell them that you need them, and how the hell do you tell them you know this after mere hours of meeting them? I can't tell her, I have to show her. She may not be ready for this, but I no longer doubted us, I saw my future very clearly and she was it. I wouldn't tell her all of this now; I would let her have her time. The time she needed to figure out her heart, to figure out how she feels about me and what to do about Jacob. I would wait now, with my heart, because I know. I may not know her but I will and she will know me.

"I know this is hard for you, and I want to help you in any way I can, but I also need you to know that there is no decision for me." I replied to her.

She looked a little more confused but she also appeared relieved.

I smiled at her and she smiled back. Not a fake I'm smiling cause you did but a real, earnest smile.

I let my heart guide me since it obviously knows better than I do and I reached out and held her hand. She didn't even flinch; she gripped my hand back, tightly.

I would do whatever she needs me to do, even if that meant giving her space. I would hate every second of it, but if it was a step to being with her always I would do it.

But for now, here in the car, as our hands were intertwined and our hearts coming together, finding their homes, I was hers and she mine.

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_A/N what did you think? I know it is fast, realizing you love and need someone so soon, but we all have heard of it, and a lucky few have experienced it. Sometimes love grows slowly over time, sometimes it hits you in an instant like a ton of bricks. Review please and tell your friends about my story. Thank you Everyone!_


	7. Nintendo and Tears

_I am so sorry this took way longer than expected to get out. I was sick, then my kids were sick, then drama, then Easter, you know how it goes. But here it is, hope it meets your expectations._

_No lemons, sorry, but a lot of guy time with Edward, Emmett (my personal fav) and Jasper. Even a little bit of Rose in there! Please review, I love reviews, every writer does, but I wll keep on with the story no matter what. Maybe I shouldn't say that, maybe I should say no reviews = no story! LOL I love you all. Still looking for a beta! PM me if you want to know the songs I have been listening to for this ch and probably at least the next one too._

**Things I own: sleeping pills that make me have crazy vivid dreams every damn night, bat wing earrings, a promise ring from my husband when we were dating. Yes a promise ring, not an engagment ring, thats just the kind of guy he is, and the new Fray album on ITunes! I do not own any part of the twilight saga (hate that name!) but give me ten minutes with Emmett and I would own him! wink wink ;)**

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Choose wisely ch 7

BPOV

After he dropped me off to get my truck and I drove home, I went straight to my room to think.

What was I going to do about Edward? How was I going to handle this entire ugly, messy situation? It was one of those times when you want to run to mommy or daddy and have them tell you how to fix everything but I definitely couldn't go to them.

I was sitting on my bed but I couldn't sit still. I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs, pulling my knees up to my chest, and eventually I got up and began pacing my room. After quite a while of this my cell phone rang.

I stopped, about five feet away from the desk that my cell phone sat on. I stared at it, knowing it was Jacob, not sure what to do. I knew that if I didn't answer he would try one more time before calling the house phone and talking to Charlie. And since Charlie loves Jacob so much, he would of course tell him I was home and call for me to pick up the phone. Then Jacob would wonder why I wasn't answering my cell. I thought all of this before the third ring of my phone. I decided to answer it, acting normal, well as normal as possible.

"Hey Jacob, how was school?" I answered, hoping I was pulling this off.

"School was all right I guess. People aren't joking when they say sophomore year is a lot harder than freshman year. So I'll be there in about 20 minutes?" He asked.

"Of course" was all I responded. Jacob always came over, or sometimes I went to his house, but there were very few days we didn't see each other since I moved to Forks.

We said bye and when he said "I love you Bells" my heart sank in my chest. I do love him, I really truly do, but I knew I was going to end up hurting him. No matter what, even if Edward and I turned up to be nothing, I knew something inside me had changed and once I figured that out I would have to tell him.

I went to the bathroom to take a minute and make sure I am presentable. My hair was a little messy so I ran a brush through it, brushed my teeth and noticed a stain on my shirt. I went back to my room and changed out of the white t-shirt and grey long sleeve and put on a light purple short sleeve v-neck shirt that Jacob had noted he enjoyed seeing me in once before. Then I remembered last night. Oh My Goodness, how could I forget about last night? Jacob and I had gone so far past our line, and I was suddenly very scared.

Would he expect that to be a regular thing? I hope not. But I knew kissing was inevitable. This entire situation is stressful. I needed to figure out how to act normal. No that isn't right; I needed to be normal, to be normal Bella, just to be myself again. It had only been not even two days but I felt like I didn't even know myself anymore. But I also knew I would figure it out eventually… I hoped.

I did one more check in the mirror and went downstairs to wait for Jake and talk to Charlie some. He always kept to himself, rarely brought up any conversation that wasn't about dinner or Jake, but I knew he wanted me and him to talk sometimes and I tried to remember that.

I sat in the chair I always sit in. Our tiny table in the kitchen was very homey, and older than me by many years.

"How was work today Dad?" I started the conversation off gentle; it's easier for him that way.

"Oh you know speeding tickets, cars getting keyed in the parking lot, oh but there was one exciting thing… over at Newton's Olympic Outfitters there was an attempted break in. Karen thinks it was just some kids but I wasn't going to just ignore it. I even got to use the fingerprinting kit; it has been so long since I have gotten that out." He told me with almost excitement in his voice. Charlie loved being in law enforcement.

"Wow dad, sounds like a big day." I chuckled inside at what my dad considers a good day.

"How 'bout you Bells? How was school? You making friends?"

"Yeah actually I have sort made friends with Alice and Edward Cullen" I told him without really thinking about it. I just didn't want him to worry about me if I wasn't making friends so I blurted out the first people I thought of that I have interacted with on any level more than 'hey aren't you the new girl?'

"The Cullens huh? Well I suppose you could do worse. They have never caused any trouble round here which is good. But they seem a little too serious. Especially Edward, always with that girlfriend of his, if I didn't know better I would have thought they were already married." He offered his opinion about Edward, an opinion that made me feel sad and guilty.

Saved by the bell… well the knock. Jacob was here and he knocked out of courtesy but he always walked in without waiting for an answer.

All of a sudden, in that instant I was scared, terrified. I didn't know how to talk to him, how to act around him, how to even be me around Jacob anymore. Edward had changed everything, all the way down to my home life. I was freaking out; I think I was even starting to hyperventilate. Charlie must have noticed because he shot me an odd look before greeting Jacob.

"Hey Charlie, hows is going?" Jake replied.

Then he looked at me with such love. I felt sick to my stomach I knew there was no way in hell I could talk to him about it, I couldn't hurt him, and so I didn't know what to do.

"Hey Bells, I missed you" and he kissed my check. I pulled in a large breath and decided to just be normal tonight, well as normal as possible.

"I missed you too. You made good time getting here." I offered a comforting smile, more for me than him.

"Yeah, didn't get not even one red light." He answered while putting out his hand, wanting me to stand so he could hug me.

When I stood and Jake wrapped his arms around me, I breathed him in and felt at home while also missing the smell of Edward. He smelled so good, like fresh wood and salt water with a hint of gasoline.

"Let's go upstairs, I have some homework to do" I whispered in his ear. He nodded.

We had barely begun to move when Charlie told us to have some fun. If he only knew about last night. I looked at Jake and we must have had the same thought because we both had the same smile on our faces.

When we got upstairs, I sat at my desk to start my homework and Jacob sat on my bed. When I looked at him he looked confused and I realized I had never sat at my desk while he was on my bed, school work or not. I got my homework together and went to sit by him. He pulled me back to lean against him and began caressing my hair. I got to work and we sat in silence for quite a while.

Then breaking the silence he leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Last night was… well Bella, it was amazing." Then he placed a small kiss on my ear lobe.

My stomach dropped, my heart stopped and I had no response. Yes last night was awesome, last night. But tonight, thinking about it, made me sick. How could I continue leading him on like this? I am a horrible girlfriend, but I can't bring myself to do the right thing just yet. I am just not ready.

"Bella? You in there?" He said a little louder than normal.

"Sorry, I guess I was lost in thought" I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to the moment.

"Babe, I don't want to question you, but is everything ok?" He shuffled on the bed so we were more face to face and immediately I looked down. I think I thought that if he looked into my eyes he would see the change in my love for him.

"Bella, talk to me, please" he pleaded while using two curled fingers under my chin to bring my face up to meet his.

"I guess… I am just tired. New town, new school, new girl" I said as I pointed to my chest. "It is just a lot to take in. I am trying to make new friends and make a good start here." All of this was true, but they are not the reason for my distance, and I hoped he believed me.

"Are you sure that's all it is? You can talk to me, about anything you know? No matter what it is, I will always love you." He promised.

If he only knew that that statement was the worst thing he could have said. Because I knew I could talk to him about anything, that I could talk to him about this, about Edward. It is because I can't bring myself to do it yet that I am not. I could talk to him but I can't break his heart and that is what I will be doing.

"Jake…" I almost said it there, I almost spilled everything, every moment with him, every moment with Edward, every feeling and emotion, but I couldn't. I needed more time. And with that, with all of my new feelings and problems out there in the air, unspoken but definitely felt, I started crying.

"Bella, baby, please tell me what it is, please" he begged. I knew I was scaring him but I couldn't stop crying. I got on my knees and crawled into his lap. I wanted so badly to tell him. Not because he deserved to know even though that was one reason, but because he is my best friend. I just needed my best friend. I kept thinking that over and over again. I need my best friend, I need him.

"Bella, we are best friends, you can talk to me" he told me as if reading my mind.

But the difference in our statements is the _me_ part. Yes Jacob is my best friend, but was I his anymore? I was going to be breaking him, tearing him down. I knew I was going to crush him. I knew because it was crushing me, but I knew I had Edward to help put me back together. Jacob, he didn't have that. Not only was I going to crush him, break his heart, take away his girlfriend, his love, but I was about to take away his best friend too.

I continued crying, he just kept stroking my hair, and I relished what quite possibly could be the last moment we had as just us, us in love. One of the last moments we would have before he hated me. I knew he would hate me, I knew because I already hated myself.

EPOV

The drive back from our little exercise in the dynamics of Edward and Bella was uneventful. For a while we didn't even talk. When we did start talking it was just chatting, getting to know each other. More about music, T.V., movies, classes, just the regular stuff that two friends talk about. The entire time I was talking to her, all though my words were innocent my thoughts were not.

I kept thinking about her lips, her beautiful succulent lips. They are so pink and pouty and warm. They look warm at least. I kept the conversation going just so I could see her lips move. I daydreamed about the hopefully not far off day that those lips would be mine, and I would kiss them whenever I want to.

After dropping her off at her truck, if you could even allow that hunk of rusted metal the title of a vehicle anymore, I took out my cell phone. I called Tanya's house but not to talk to her, I needed to talk to my boys before I could even allow Tanya to know something was wrong.

Thank God Jasper answered.

"Hey Jazz, I need a pow wow with my boys, be there in five?" I asked him, all though I was already on my way there. No invitation was needed for me at their house or them at mine.

"Yeah that's cool, but Em won't be home for a little longer because he is at football practice." He reminded me, but I already knew that. Bella's lips had just distracted me.

"That's cool, I'll come over and wait. What do you guys got in the way of food?" I asked, knowing they always had better food at their house than I do at mine.

"Ah man, Tanya made these kickin' enchilada things, so good man, I'll get ya a plate ready"

"Thanks, almost there, see you soon" and I hung up.

A couple minutes later I pulled up to their house, checked my car for any evidence of Bella, only her scent lingered.

I hurried to the door, not realizing just how hungry I was till I was on the phone with Jasper. But I was famished. I looked at my cell phone to catch the time and it was after five. How the hell did that happen? This girl is really messing up my head. I even forgot to look at a clock when in her presence. I couldn't decide if that is a good or bad thing.

I walked in without knocking and smelled the enchiladas Jazz was talking about. They smelled heavenly. God I hope Bella could cook, because Tanya is a master in the kitchen and I would miss that.

"Yo, Edward, we are in here." Jasper yelled out.

He said we, Emmett isn't home yet, so Tanya must be with him.

I walked in, distracted by the delicious smell in the air for a minute. Somehow Bella had even messed up my nose because smelling something so delicious just reminded me how much better she smells and I missed her.

I walked up to Jasper and gave him one of those handshake/hug things guys do and he handed me my plate.

I sat down at the tiled bar, next to Tanya, not even sure if I should speak. Then it dawned on me she would want to know where I disappeared to for last period. I had no idea what to say… I would have to come up with some variance of the truth, of course omitting Bella, and tell her that because I wouldn't lie… at least not entirely.

I took a bite and looked to my left, to meet her piercing gaze. She smiled. Oh shit, I was in trouble. I knew all of Tanya's smiles and that smile was her, your busted mister, you better start explaining yourself smile.

I choked down another bite and started talking. She looked smug now, knowing I knew I did wrong and she didn't even have to speak a word for me to start apologizing.

"I'm sorry Tanya, I just felt… I just didn't want to be at school. I only skipped last period, and I basically just drove." That was the almost truth I decided to give her. Everything was right, just the Bella part missing.

"OK" was all she said, and her face changed. She really was ok with it, she didn't want any more explanation, no more details, and this was very uncharacteristic for her.

"OK?" I asked kind of choking on the food in my mouth.

"Yeah, OK" Was all she gave me back.

I turned my eyes to Jasper who was leaning on the stove, his cowboy boots crossed, apparently chewing on something but I didn't know what. I raised my eyebrows, silently asking if he heard that and he raised his back in acknowledgment.

I was scared. Why is she so 'OK' with this? I knew my brain could run like Forrest with this, but I tried to put it away to ponder later so I could focus on my task at hand. Breaking the news to my best friends that I wanted to break up with their little sister.

I finished my plate, grateful for at least one more meal from Tanya, just as Emmet walked in the door. He made his presence known by immediately yelling the most awesome plays they made at practice. I couldn't understand most of his words but caught an occasional 'Ball', 'awesome' and 'blood'. This was all typical beginning of the school year behavior for Em. He is such a football enthusiast. And out of all of us, he is definitely the most athletic. A close second to him is Rose, which is just one reason they made such a great pairing.

"Oh hey Edward" he said as he started eating the enchiladas cold, straight out of the fridge, without using a plate. At least he grabbed my dirty fork. This is also typical Emmett behavior.

"You're here early, did your sudden ditching make you miss my lil sis more than usual?" he asked while rubbing my hair. I hate when he does it, but I don't dare to challenge it, seeing how he is twice my size.

"Actually, I needed to talk to you and Jazz, guy stuff" I added so that Tanya wouldn't even want to be privy to our conversation.

"Ah is it party time again man? It's a little early isn't it?" Emmett asked, starting to get excited.

"Oh, not yet, Em, but soon" I told him, without offering what I wanted to talk about instead and it worked.

Emmett with his dish of cold Mexican food, Jasper and I walked upstairs to their room. They could have had separate rooms but opted to knock down the wall and share one big room. That is how close this family is.

"All right Edward, what is so serious that you ditched school, and came over early to talk to us about?" Jasper questioned?

Emmett didn't look up; he just kept consuming inhuman amounts of food. But I knew he too was very intrigued.

I flopped down on the practically flat, cracked and faded baseball printed bean bag from about ten years ago. Why hadn't they gotten rid of this thing? Could you even buy bean bags anymore? I waited several long breaths before inhaling a big one, enough air to get me through the words I was about to say. I told myself that this would hurt. Knowing I would be letting them down, but also very well because of the probability I would get beat up, at least by Emmett, Jasper knew I could take him, so he may not try.

"All right guys, this is huge, and I haven't talked to her about it at all, and please let me be the one to tell her, but I am going to break up with Tanya. I just… I love her but… it's not the same and I don't want to hold her down and it isn't fair to lead her on."

Emmett didn't stop eating and Jasper had taken a large box down from his closet and was looking through old Nintendo games. Neither one of them stopped what they were doing. Did they even hear me?

"Um, Em, Jazz, did you guys hear me?" I was confused.

Both of them said yeah at the same time, but still kept up their tasks.

So I waited. I guess they were processing, wrapping their minds around it. At least I hope that was what they were doing. I really hoped they weren't thinking of the best way to beat the shit out of me. I hoped but I knew the later was more realistic.

I didn't know what to do. Should I explain more? Should I act as if I hadn't said it? Should I actually ask for their opinions? I just waited.

The bean bag was surprisingly comfortable. I hadn't sat on it in years but chose it today because it was the closest seat to the door, in case I needed to make a mad dash for my life. Now I knew why they still had it. Hmm, I really started wondering if you could still buy bean bags. Maybe I will have to take Bella back to Wal-Mart and see. I wonder how Bella is doing. I wonder if she has seen or talked to Jacob. Would she tell him tonight? Maybe we should have talked about when we would tell our significant others. Would she mention me or just break up with him. Is she ok? I should have gotten her cell number. Wait, does she have a cell phone? If not that won't work, I love text messaging, and would need to text message her during classes. I would just have to buy her one. She wouldn't want me to but I would find some way to make her.

"Dude, Edward!" Jasper yelled. I had gotten so far lost in thought about Bella that the real world had disappeared.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind" I told them, which they should know considering what I just told them.

But then again, they said nothing. Had I really gone so far that Emmett and Jasper were speechless and couldn't move to hit me?

"All right guys, I came to you with this first out of respect, and all I get is disgusting chewing noises and 'Mike Tyson's Punch out'?

With that they looked up, actually pausing what they were doing, and Em was the first to speak.

"Man do you realize we are going to be tortured for like a month with Bonnie Raitt?" he asked me, jokingly.

Jokingly? OK maybe they didn't understand that I was serious. Jasper was just nodding in agreement with his brother.

"Ok guys, I am serious here, I am going to break up with Tanya." I stated, very matter of factly, hoping to get the point through to them.

"We know, you already said that" Jazz offered.

"So I thought you guys would hit me, at least try and talk me out of it" I told them my fears.

"Man… I am speaking for both of us here on this I think, but you are our brother. If you need to break up with her, it sucks but we understand. I mean, you two have been together forever, it would be like, fucking insane if you managed to stay together forever. Not saying we are breaking up with our ladies, but you and Tanya have been together way longer than me and Jazz with Rose and Pixie." Emmett actually said, as though he had put some thought into it.

I was shocked. Again Jasper was just nodding along with his brother.

"So no hitting, no intervention type conversation convincing me of what is best for me?" I checked, because I still couldn't believe they were so Ok with it.

"Nah man, just if you could not do it today, Rose is coming over and she owes me some favors" he said with the inflection on favors clearly indicating sexual favors. "And I really don't want her playing the part of the empathetic shoulder for Tanya."

"Yeah, I wasn't going to do it today anyway. I still need to figure out the best way." And then I looked at Jasper.

"Do you have anything to say Jasper, or are your responses limited to head motions?" I teased him.

He looked at me, and then at Emmett and said "Emmett, you know the word 'empathetic'?"

And with that all my fear and anxiety and every emotion experienced with Bella came out in the form of gut busting laughter. I couldn't stop, and after just a few seconds, Jazz joined me. Emmett watched for a bit before turning his attention back to the almost empty cold dish.

After what felt like an hour, our laughing died down. "You two idiots done now?" Emmett asked and I noticed he had finished eating and picked up a controller and started playing punch out.

"Yeah, sorry man" I apologized. "We are just a little surprised, I didn't know your vocabulary had progressed past grunts and football plays" I added.

"Believe it or not, I have a rather expansive library of words, I just choose to keep it simple because I don't want to put too much thought into what I am saying, I just want to be me, gotta represent!" and he pounded his chest with his right hand.

Jazz and I glanced at each other and started laughing again before Em shot us a look we knew meant stop now or my previous fear of being hit would become a reality. So we stopped.

"I'll play winner" I said as Jazz picked up the second controller and pressed start to join in the fight Emmett was dominating.

We played old Nintendo games for hours. The sun went down and we got reacquainted with Mario, Donkey Kong, side scrolling and only having two buttons to push.

When I decided it was time to leave, I handed my controller back to Emmett after thoroughly whipping Jasper in a race. I stood up from the bean bag that I had moved closer to the flat screen. Having a flat screen HD TV did nothing for Nintendo's graphics, but I will admit, getting back to my roots with my boys before jumping trees with Bella was energizing.

"Hey man..." Jasper said while pausing the game. "Are you going to be ok?"

His voice was serious, almost tainted with melancholy. He was actually worried about me. I thought about the upcoming conversation with Tanya and her face. I thought about her tears and how much I would want to wipe them away but that would just confuse her. Then I thought about Bella. I would be able to wipe her tears away after her similar conversation with Jacob, and a smile spread across my face.

Jasper and Emmett's expressions changed from that of concern to confused.

I tried to wipe the smile away, to fake despair, but the thought of Bella had filled me with such warmth that I couldn't hide it.

Just then Rose knocked on the door, while opening it slowly and demanding that "No one better be naked or farting!"

"Babe, can you get me a Coke real quick. I need to pee and I will meet you in the guest room?"

"Sure but why the guest room?" she said while not moving the door any more open. I was hoping that she couldn't see me, and I think that was the reason for Emmett's diversion.

But we were wrong. She caught a glimpse of me and opened the door entirely.

Emmett told her "Jazz is deep into vintage Nintendo and I want at least the chance at you repaying me the favors" Her eyes never left me while Emmett spoke.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! What the hell are you doing up here while Tanya watches sappy chick flicks on the couch all alone?" She questioned, sounding very much like our mother, Esme.

Chick Flicks? Why was Tanya watching Chick flicks? She only watched them when she felt down, when she wanted to cry but didn't want her own emotions to cause the tears. Did she know?

"Me and Jazz kidnapped him to visit old Mario Babe, no worries, we just lost track of time." Emmett explained, saving my ass… hopefully.

Rosalie sighed, closed the door and we heard her footsteps going down the stairs.

"Ok Edward, leaving my sister is one thing, leaving her for another girl without so much as telling us who the other girl is not ok." Jasper spoke, very sternly.

My smile had given me away. I had planned on telling them, but not tonight. I was grateful for escaping the beating of a lifetime and didn't want to tempt fate.

Emmett had an expression on his face that I had never seen. Of course this was a situation we had never been in so I suppose new facial expressions were to be expected.

I took a couple steps closer to them, knowing I had a limited amount of time before Rose and/or Tanya came up here.

"OK guys, your right. There is someone else. First I have to tell you I have not and would not ever cheat on Tanya. This was all completely unexpected, and I honestly didn't even want it at first. But yes, I have fallen for someone else."

"Oh, it better not be that bitch Jessica Stanley, that I will kick your ass for!" Emmett assured me of his intentions.

Jasper knew better though. "It's Isabella Swan isn't it? I knew it! You never, NEVER, want to end lunch early, at least until you were walking with her. I told Alice it was nothing, that you were trying to be nice to the new girl, but I knew it!" He said, with pride, for his noticing it.

In our little group, besides Tanya, Jasper knew me the best. We weren't in any after school activities and at some time in the school year everyone else was doing something. Alice was in drama, Rose in basketball and volleyball, Tanya took a cooking class and Em had his contact sports. Jasper and I had each other. While everyone else was gone, we would hang. At first, when we were freshmen, it was weird. But it didn't take very long for us to look forward to it. We would watch movies that no one else wanted to watch, we would just sit in silence and do homework, sometimes we would even talk about our futures and our feelings. He knows me, and I know him. I should have realized he would catch on to me, but I was too distracted by Bella.

Emmett's face lit up with realization. "Is it?" he simply asked.

"Yes" was all I could muster. The vibe in this room had been all over the place tonight, and it was exhausting me.

"Where did you two go when you ditched?" Jasper asked, man he really does know me.

"We needed to talk about what is going on. We both felt an immediate, undeniable attraction to each other." I told them. They were silent.

"Guys… I love her. I know that sounds crazy but I do. It is a love like I have never experienced and it hit me like a hurricane."

"You love her more than Tanya?" Em asked?

"I love her different than Tanya. I have always loved Tanya, I literally don't remember not loving her, and Bella came along and I feel like she gave my heart a new reason to beat. Sorry for getting kind of mushy on you guys" I told them.

"So let me get this straight real quick" Jasper jumped in. "You love Tanya, but your love for Bella is new and exciting? How do you know it's real?"

"I guess I can't guarantee that it is, but no matter what, my heart and thoughts are with another now, not with Tanya anymore, and that isn't fair to her. Wouldn't you agree?"

They both nodded, seeing it the way I saw it.

"Man… I am glad I am not you" Emmett said and he gave a soft chuckle.

We heard footsteps coming back up the stairs and just listened. They stopped outside the door and waited. I prayed it was Rose and not Tanya.

"I got to go guys, besides Em, you have some business that needs tending to" I joked as I motioned with my head to the owner of the footsteps on the other side of the door.

"That's right bitches; my girl can't stay off my Caa"

"All right see you later" I interrupted Emmett, not wanting that visual of my sister.

I opened the door and was relieved it was Rose, she let me by and I went down stairs.

She was right; Tanya was lying on the couch with a blanket. A half drank chocolate milkshake I assumed Rose picked up for her on her way here, and a dozen used tissues spread on the table and floor around her.

She was watching the new Nicholas Sparks movie. The one about old people falling in love. The one us guys jokingly made gagging sounds at when they suggested we see it one night. For the life of me I couldn't remember the name. But then I thought thank God I don't remember the name, that would make me a pansy.

I looked at the TV. The actors were enjoying themselves at an outdoor party.

Tanya was crying.

"This part doesn't look sad, why are you crying at it?" I asked her.

She sniffled and looked up at me, "I'm not crying because of the movie Edward"

She was stern, she was serious, she was sad.

"Oh" was all my brain could think to say.

* * *

_Well did you like it? Hate it? What did you think? Any Suggestions? Want to be my Beta? Review me to tell me all those things! Love you all... off to work on chapter 8!_


	8. Before and After

_Choose Wisely chapter 8_

_A/N I got in a flow of writing and I just let it come out. So as an apology of sorts I am posting my two longest chapters in one day! I hope it doesn't disappoint. Caution: Enter at your own risk and bring tissues. Just a little note, I actually got teary and a few even escaped while writing my own story. Granted I start writing and allow my characters take over, so I am not completely out there but it should tell you something. I still need a Beta if anyone is interested. Did you like getting two crazy chapters in one day? Review and tell me, and tell your friends. Love to all._

**Things I own: A Chicago bears t-shirt (huge fan), an old pair of holey, ratty, grey chucks that I won't ever throw out, and a collection of t-shirts with ties printed on them. I am obsessed with these, I may need professional help. Unfortunately I do not own Twilight, Edward, Bella or any of their sidekicks, SMeyer is their owner.**

* * *

_She sniffled and looked up at me, "I'm not crying because of the movie Edward"_

_She was stern, she was serious, she was sad._

"_Oh" was all my brain could think to say._

* * *

_EPOV_

"Why are you crying then?" I finally managed to get out.

She took a moment, sat up ever so slightly, used her tissue to wipe her face and sighed. "Because of you Edward" she said. Her voice was riddled with tears and a heavy weight.

My brain started franticly searching for something, anything she may have picked up on that would cause her to cry. Of course the obvious like me ditching, leaving her to ride with her brothers home, or me coming over to talk to them and not her came to mind, but I could tell there was something I was missing.

"Did you have fun playing games with the guys?" she asked. I think she was sincere, but I also thought I detected a hint of sarcasm.

"You're asking me about video games? Why are you avoiding talking to me Tanya?" I questioned her motives.

"Well, why haven't you sat on the couch next to me, especially since I was crying Edward?" She shot back, in a snide manner.

The act of using each other's names at the end of our questions was odd. We had never done it, at least not like this. It scared me. I didn't quite understand what was going on. She was sad, but she was also mad? What happened while I was upstairs? What did Rosalie tell her? No one knew anything, no one except me and the boys and I knew they wouldn't say a thing. If for no other reason than not wanting her to kill the messenger. But I knew they had my back, so to speak.

"I didn't sit on the couch because the vibe you were giving off yelled stay back" I was brutally honest with her but I walked over and sat next to her.

Her eyes were puffy, red and looked like she had been crying harder than she let on. She was still in the clothes she wore to school but they were twisted and wrinkled from lying on the couch. Mascara was running down both cheeks and she clung to a tissue in her right hand. She looked terrible.

I felt even worse. I had made her like this, I made her sad, and I made her cry.

"How did I make you cry? You said 'ok' about me ditching, was that just a front for Jasper or what?" I asked, I needed some clarity.

"I thought I heard the old Mario music? Were you guys somehow playing old video games?" Was what she chose to respond with?

I was mad. I was trying to address this, to find out what was wrong and hopefully make it better, for now. But she just kept deflecting, avoiding the situation and apparently not wanting to talk about it.

I got up, walked to the door, put my hand on the handle, and turned to look at her. She looked absolutely pissed off. "Fine Tanya, you want to cry go ahead, you want to yell at me go ahead, but I won't be here to see you do it!" I practically yelled at her and flung the door open. When I stepped outside I lost it. I started crying and sat on the front step.

After a few minutes I had stopped crying. Then the door opened. I thought at first that it would be Rose leaving but then I realized not nearly enough time had passed for her to repay her debts, so I turned around to see who was standing behind me.

I was not expecting to see her, to see Tanya standing there. She still looked horrible, and sad, but also a little guilty now.

I didn't say anything and neither did she. She sat next to me on the step, putting her hands together in her lap. We sat there for a long time. We got cold, she shivered and I put my arm around her. I hoped it wouldn't lead her on, but knew I could never leave any girl cold if there was anything I could do about it.

She scooted closer to me in response to my arm wrapping around her shoulders and she laid her head on my left shoulder. We still sat there. No words spoken out loud, but it seemed as though so much was taking place. It almost felt as though us sitting there together was a good bye of sorts. What must have been hours later, long after Rosalie left and Tanya's parents got home, I decided I needed to try again. To find out what I had done to make her cry. I only hoped she would tell me.

"Tanya… what is wrong?" I said as I wiped yet another tear from her cheek. She sighed, but didn't answer. I waited again, patiently… again. I owed her that at least. I didn't know how, but I knew she knew. I wasn't sure she knew about Bella, but she at least knew I was going to end this. I don't know which odd behavior of mine over the past two days was the deal breaker, but she knew.

Before I could tell her, before I could even think about ending this I had to hear from her. I needed to know what she was thinking, what had hurt her. I didn't want one of those movie cliché' moments when I assume she knows and I start talking about it, only then discovering she was only crying cause her grandma's cat died or something. That is not how this would go, she deserved better. What we had deserved better.

Over the years I had thought about if we would end. I usually decided that no, we would never end, but every once in a while I wondered if we got into different colleges what would happen. I wondered if she would feel like I limited her options, or even if I would feel that way. I usually stopped myself from going any further on that train of thought because it would upset me so much.

Now, here I am, faced with reality, doing what I never thought I would do.

But I was also feeling a love that I didn't even know existed. To me, to my heart, that topped everything else. They say love is what life is about. The love for your friends, your family, and hopefully the love you would someday find with a special person who you would spend the rest of your life with. I thought that was Tanya, but now I know that is Bella. The difference is so clear now, sitting on this front porch. The difference between thinking and knowing. I thought Tanya was the girl for me, but I know it is Bella. The guys may not understand that, Tanya may not understand it if I ever dared to tell her, Hell I may not even fully understand it, but it is what it is. Truth. Certainty. Decisions. Clarity. Love.

I heard a small whimper, and then a loud sob and I looked over at her. She was crying again. But this time, she was crying hard. Barely even able to catch her breath between sobs hard. I had no idea what to do. I wish there had been some way to do this with no one getting hurt. I scooted as close to her as possible and pulled her head a little more down, more towards my chest. I wrapped my free arm around the front of her body and started rocking her. I was trying to calm her down.

I had only seen her cry like this one other time, two years ago when her Grandpa had passed away.

Then I understood. The reason she was so upset, the reason she was crying so hard, was because we were dying, and she knew it was only a matter of words for our relationship to truly be dead. I thought I felt like shit, but I realized now she felt worse. I seemed to have forgotten that I had Bella to help me, that Bella and I would help each other. That just the fact that we had each other made this not as bad for us. We already had pieces to fill the holes that we would be creating, but Tanya and Jacob, they were just losing everything, not gaining anything like we were.

I felt even worse now and I started crying too. So this is what we are now. Two people, sitting in the middle of the night, dreading the inevitable, cold and crying. This is what I had made us.

"Tanya… please talk to me. We have been out here forever and I will stay here until we talk about it, but you are cold and, just please, talk to me." I begged, I pleaded with her.

She started nodding her head and pulling herself together enough to speak.

My heart started racing. Was I glad to be doing this. Was I dreading something all night and she was upset about something small not the big thing? Was I scared or worried? Could I possibly be feeling excitement at being that much closer to being with Bella? I think I felt all of that and more, and I felt like an ass for most of it.

"What did you need to talk to Em and Jazz about?" she asked. Her question confused me. I thought she was going to tell me why she was crying.

"Just needed to run something past them" I gave another almost truth. "Please just tell me what I did to make you cry like this, I am desperate here Tanya, I need to know." I again begged.

"Edward… I came upstairs earlier to ask if you wanted to watch Ben Hur again. It was on again tonight and I know how much you love that movie." She told me.

My brain began processing. She came upstairs. I didn't hear her so I have no idea when. But I did know what it meant. She heard me talking to the boys. I'm not sure what she heard, or how much, but unless learning Em has a bigger than expected vocabulary really upsets her, she heard enough to confirm my fear. She knew we were dying. She knew all day.

She was crying, she was hurting, she was alone and I was playing video games. Now I understand her reason for asking if I had fun playing. Shit, this isn't how this is supposed to happen. Shit Shit Shit!!!

This is happening though Edward, be a man, treat her right and do the right thing. You love her, and you don't want her to hurt, but you love Bella and need her so just rip the band aid off as fast and gentle as possible and show the relationship you have had with Tanya the respect it deserves. I was giving myself a pep talk, reminding myself why I needed to hurt Tanya so badly. Bella. Bella.

"Oh" I said.

She laughed. She laughed? What the fuck?

"Is that your new favorite word?" she asked.

"Oh" I said again, shit where was my vocabulary tonight? "I just, it is taking me an unusual amount of time to process things right now, I am sorry." I explained.

"Tanya… what did you hear?" I asked while dropping my arms and sitting up. I was thinking if she heard everything I wouldn't have to tell her much more, but I was also hoping she didn't hear any of the part about Bella.

"Well, enough." She stated but I could tell she wasn't done talking.

"I heard you tell them 'I am serious, I am going to break up with Tanya'. Is that enough for you or should I go on?" She was getting very angry. I didn't expect that yet. I sat silent, stunned.

"I heard them basically tell you it was ok and I heard you tell them that you didn't plan on doing it today, which Emmett was grateful for because he didn't want rose to be consoling me instead of blowing him!" She was completely yelling now and I thought she might wake everyone in the house.

"Oh" Shit, there was that word again. "Tanya, I don't… I don't even know what to say, where to begin."

"Well why don't you start by telling me why the hell you're dumping me? That would be a good place!" she was still shouting but had brought it down to a containable volume. She was right, I should start there, but all I could think was 'Thank God she didn't hear the Bella part!' But then I realized that when I didn't include the Bella part, I had no idea how to explain to her why I was hurting her.

"That is… so complicated Tanya… I'm not saying I won't do it, just that I need your patience, if you could give me it, If not, I understand." She nodded that I could have her patience right now, and I continued.

"First I want to tell you that I love you, that hasn't changed at all. Also that hurting you is the worst and hardest thing I have ever even thought about doing, let alone done, and I don't want to hurt you but I have to be fair, not only to myself but to you too." I started explaining, and she just listened.

"I love you, but the love I have for you is so familiar, I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't love you. It has always been and will always be, and that is the reason. I want to know what falling in love is like; I want to know what it is like to be with someone without knowing everything about them or without the familiar. I need to be able to get to know someone, to learn about her and learn about myself in the process. I want some normal teenage boy experiences with meeting the parents and earning her trust. I love you Tanya, I do, but my heart, it needs something new. I will always love you. I will always be here. I will always be me, and we will hopefully always be friends. I mean you are my best friend. Not your brothers, not my sisters, only you! Only you know how much I love Ben Hur or why I want to wear old clothes. Only I know each of your smiles well enough for words to not be needed. I just hope… no Tanya, I pray that somehow, someday you can forgive me, and we can be friends. I need to do this but I am terrified of losing you. Please…" and with that I started crying again. No tears were falling from her eyes, maybe there were none left or she was too mad, but I was a blubbering baby. I was crying and heaving and snot was dripping out of my nose.

I knew I was losing my best friend. The person in this world who knows me inside and out, all of my quirks and faults, and loved me because of them. I would lose her, and I knew she was losing me too.

"So that's it? Just like that? You're breaking up with me? Breaking my heart? Just leaving me because your 'heart wants something new' and you want me to be your friend? How would I do that Edward? Should we double date? Or do you want to call me and tell me all about your new girlfriend? NO! If your heart wants something new it can have it. A new girlfriend AND a new best friend because you can't do this to me and expect me to just stick by your side. I don't want new; I don't need 'normal experiences' I need you, you Edward. But obviously somehow since last night, you have decided you don't need me anymore. Fine! If that's what you want, you can have it. Take it and run with it and have fun. Just don't come running back to me when you realize you gave up everything on a whim."

I didn't know what to do. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I wanted to break it gently, to tell her without her getting mad. For us to be able to talk, not for her to hate me. But who am I kidding? I am leaving her empty, without her best friend, and broken. Of course she hates me, she should.

"Tanya… please…" I said as she approached the front door. "I can't lose you like this" I cried.

"You already lost me. Goodbye Edward" and she disappeared behind the door.

BPOV

Jacob was holding me, I was crying and my world was crumbling around me. I didn't know if I should tell him tonight. I thought about it for quite a while. Calming down in the mean time but he never let me go.

Finally I decided to do it know. I had already started it, the emotions where already everywhere, so I might as well finish it. No use in prolonging it any more. Because every second with this weight was excruciating and felt like a lifetime. So tonight I would do it. I would break up with him, and he would beg me not to. I just needed to keep thinking about Edward, about holding his hands, about his delicious unique smell of leather and soap and rain. Edward… I kept telling myself to just think about Edward and I would get through this somehow.

Some time had passed and we were still entangled on my bed, although the rocking had stopped. I looked up at Jacob to judge his expression and without warning he kissed me. My first reaction was to pull away, I actually felt like I was cheating on Edward, but then I wanted to kiss Jake, I wanted one more kiss with him. Maybe it was selfish, and it certainly was leading him on, but I needed it. Just one more moment, one more memory before I shattered everything.

He kissed my lips hard. Harder than he had ever kissed me before. He kept his arms tightly around me, never moving them, never letting up on his grip. We just kissed. It wasn't romantic or sweet, it didn't turn me on, it was desperate.

He knew something was wrong and he wanted so badly to make it better that he would do just about anything. This kiss was evidence of that. We continued kissing, only barely allowing our tongues to touch, but never allowing our lips to not touch.

I finally pulled away when I had enough strength to say what I needed to say. "I am sorry Jacob. I am so so sorry" I told him. At first he looked confused but at some point he looked scared and sad.

"Your going to break up with me aren't you Bells?" he asked, knowing what was coming.

I started crying again but tried to talk anyways. "Jacob, I am so sorry, please… please don't hate me… I love you I need you please…."

"Are you Bella? Are you ending it?" He asked again, getting more determined.

I could only nod my head. But when I did his face fell. His heart broke, I could tell.

"Why Bella, why are you doing this? Please Bella, I am so sorry if I have done something. Is this about last night? I am so sorry if you felt pressured, if you ever felt pressured Bella, I just love you and God, you are so beautiful and I just wanted to be closer to you and I am so sorry…" while he was talking his hands were moving frantically, as if they were physical examples of how his heart was beating. He would stroke my hair then grip my wrist, then he would hold them up not sure where to put them before rubbing my arms.

"Jake, you didn't do anything. I love you too and last night was wonderful and I have never felt pressure from you. I don't know how to explain it though… I am just so sorry." I somehow spit out in between gasps of air.

"If I didn't do anything, if it isn't because of last night, then what? Then what was last night? How do you go from that to this? I don't understand Bella, where did this come from? Please baby, tell me what's going on, I am sure we can figure it out, we can fix it, I know we can. We have to cause I can't be without you, I can't live without you. Please…" he was scaring me… I knew that 'I can't live without you' was an expression but just the way he said it. No, Jacob would never be that selfish… I knew that. But we couldn't fix it. My heart belonged to Edward now, and I couldn't change that. To be honest I didn't want to change it because Edward woke my heart and I didn't even know it was asleep.

"You can't fix it Jake, there isn't anything to fix. I still love you. You are still my best friend and I hope that eventually, after some time, we can still be best friends. You will always have a very special place in my life and in my heart. But I have to do this." I began telling him and he just sat there shaking his head no. I knew he wouldn't take this easy, that he would do anything to talk me out of it or change my mind. He loves me; he would do anything in his power to not lose me.

"Please stop Jake, please just…" and I put my hands on the sides of his head, stopping it from moving. I needed him to open up to this. I didn't want him not listening, just denying it. Next thing would be him with his fingers in his ears chanting 'I can't hear you'.

He stopped and exhaled. He look exhausted, he looked beat.

"Why Bells, why?" was all he kept saying, over and over again.

"Jake… our time together, it has been so fun and meant so much to me. I will never forget it. Hopefully someday we can somehow make more memories together, but if you don't ever feel we can I would understand. But I have to do this. I don't want to be a cheesy cliché' but it isn't about you, some stuff with me has changed and I am not the same. My heart is different now." I tried to explain without bringing up Edward, I hoped I would be able to.

"Your heart is different but you say you still love me. You still want me in your life but you are breaking up with me. I am so confused. You are contradicting yourself so much. Please tell me what is going on?"

I really, really didn't want to have to tell him about Edward, but I didn't see any other way, and I also refused to lie to him, so I was going to have to tell him something involving Edward but I wanted it to be as little as possible.

"Jacob… do you believe I love you?" I started. He just simply said "Yeah, I do" and I continued.

"Good because I do. It has never been my plan or intention to hurt you. I thought we would spend forever together this happy. I mean I moved more than 1500 miles to a state I am not particularly fond of, leaving my mom and starting my high school career all over again in a new school just to be with you. I do love you, so much. You have been by my side, we survived six months apart purely on love. I thought this was everything. That our love was perfect. And I think for us it is. But now I know we just aren't meant to be together forever." I was still crying but just barely. I was mostly afraid of even speaking Edward's name in this conversation.

"You know? You know we aren't meant to be? How could you possibly know that? How Bella? Cause my heart tells me that you are it. That you are my one, my it girl, so tell me how you know that I am not your one? Please cause I need to know what to do, how to change for you." He implored.

"Jake, listen to me, please. There isn't anything you can do because it isn't anything you have done. I really didn't want to tell you this, because I know how much it is going to hurt but…" he interrupted me.

"Who Bella? Who are you leaving me for?" he knew, he caught on and I hated it.

"How did you… Jake? I really don't want to name names. I am so sorry." I started crying harder again now. I can't believe this is all playing out like this. We were now both sitting on my bed, facing each other, about three or so feet apart. Our bodies no longer touching at all, our body language was a perfect picture of our relationship. Separate, distant, over.

"You don't want to drop names? What is this a bad Hollywood party? You're cheating on me and you won't even have enough dignity to tell me who you're cheating with?" He was getting a little angry. I can't believe he thinks I would ever cheat on him. I was actually hurt.

"I'm not cheating, I would never" I whispered, unable to speak louder because all the pain was crushing me.

"What?" I guess he didn't hear me. I hoped he would listen closer because I knew I couldn't speak up yet.

"I said I'm not cheating, that I would never cheat on you." I was right, not even close to being louder.

"How can there be another guy if you're not cheating?" he questioned me.

"There is another guy, but I haven't done so much as even kiss him. I have only talked to him." Still quiet but getting better.

"So there is some guy, that you barely know, whom you haven't even kissed, that has somehow convinced you that I am not your true love?" He really knew how to hit the nerves in me that hurt.

"Jacob, there is someone, but he did no convincing, he has done nothing wrong. He has only been my friend so please, I am the one who decided, and it was my heart that did this. Only my heart and I am sorry."

"It was your heart? What the Hell is that supposed to mean Bells? I am so scared, I really don't understand. There has to be something I can do, some way to fix this?" His voice was going back to scared and desperate and he just wouldn't accept it, I had figured that would be his response.

"Jacob…" I said in my exhale, just completely at a loss for what to say or do next. I have never broken up with anyone; I had never even been broken up with. I had just never wanted to commit myself to a guy until I met Jake. I was going in blind here, and I needed help. I again, needed my best friend.

At that thought I fell apart. I started crying so deeply, just crying from my soul, all the way through to my toes. I couldn't stop to save myself and I needed to. I shouldn't be crying. I was the villain here not the victim. I was the one doing the hurting, I was hurting him. I guess I hadn't really understood how much this would hurt me too. But now I would say that hurt is an understatement. It was completely ripping me to shreds. So what was it doing to Jacob?

I sat there, hysterical, coughing, not even caring about my tears and the wetness they were creating. Jacob just watched me. I could tell he wanted to grab me, to hold me again and fix it, but he probably didn't know if he was allowed anymore. My tears just kept coming, without reserve, pooling at the bottoms of my cheeks until finally falling and making the lavender of my blanket turn to a deep purple. My body was shaking, almost convulsing, and finally my stomach started knotting. I ran to the bathroom and got sick. I let the process of throwing up break me out of my crying fit before returning to my room. When I finally stood, willing myself to return to the mess I made, I turned and promptly crashed into Jacob. He had wet a washcloth and was gently wiping my face. He took my hand and led me to my room where he motioned for me to sit back on the bed while he sat in my desk chair. But not before turning the chair around so we could be eye to eye.

"Bella… I can tell how torn up you are about this." He was speaking calmer now, with more understanding. "You sure you really want to do this?"

I nodded and added "need to".

"Sure sure" he said in classic Jacob fashion. He just looked numb now. Maybe like he thought this was all a nightmare and when he wakes up all will be ok. In this moment, I almost wished the same, even though that would mean sacrificing Edward. Almost.

He just slumped, his entire person slumped. His back folded down, like it couldn't support any weight any longer, his face slumped into a mangled mess of sadness and despair, and all though I don't know how, I could tell his heart slumped.

"I can't believe I lost you. I can't believe I can't touch you, or kiss you ever again. I just can't…" He said with the saddest voice I had ever heard. It made me think about Charlie and Renee. How Charlie must have felt when my mom left him. "Can you please tell me his name? I just really need to know who stole your heart from me."

"Edward Cullen" again barely audible.

"Thank you Bells." He was sincere. We sat for a few more minutes in silence.

"Jake… is there any way… that we could… ever…?" I couldn't even ask him. I felt as though I was asking for something I completely didn't deserve.

"I just… Bells, I will never be able to get over you. I love you more than anything and I just can't have only a part of you, at least not now. I don't even know how to move, how to stand and begin walking because my heart is so shattered. I'm sorry. I hope you made the right decision. I hope you chose wisely, but most of all I hope above all hopes that you are happy. If that can't be with me…" He stopped talking and I saw one lone tear fall down his cheek. "I love you enough to let you go so you can be happy." He finally said and then he stood and walked over to me. He stopped in front of me and waited a minute for something.

"Bye Bells" and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

And with that Jacob was gone. One chaste kiss and my world was turned around. Two words and my best friend was no longer my best friend.

I sat in my room for what felt like the whole night. I was frozen. I was numb and only one thought went through my mind. "I need my best friend and I just lost him" I hope I did choose wisely because my life walked out that door.

After coming to a bit I thought of Edward. I knew how I felt about him. And somehow, I even felt like he was now my best friend. I knew very little about him, and he knew the same amount about me, but our hearts were forever connected. This kind of automatically makes him my best friend. I went to grab my cell to call him before remembering I had never gotten his number. I suppose I could ask Charlie for it but since Jake just had to walk past him to leave, I am sure he knew and it would look very bad if I was I was asking for another guy's number.

I do however, know where he lives. I grabbed my jacket and keys and sprinted down the stairs. I was going to go to his house until I saw a clock. It was the middle of the night. Fuck it, I just ruined the best relationship I had in my life for him, if he was sleeping he was going to wake up and start filling the role of my new best friend because I needed him. I slipped on some lace less shoes, pulled my jacket on and quietly opened the door. I turned around to lock the door and then started down the path to my truck. I wasn't looking up, I was looking around for people, making sure no neighbors would see me and be able to tell my dad. I then crashed into someone, someone who caught me. I looked up and it was Edward.

What was he doing here? We moved closer to my house to see each other in the light from the porch. He looked like I felt, his face was puffy, his eyes swollen, his hair going in every direction, and he looked exhausted. He seemed to be examining me at the same time and we both must have come to the same conclusion. We both ended our relationships tonight. We both were broken.

Taking a large inhale he said "Hi Bella" and I said hi back, not able to break his gaze into my eyes.

"I know it's late, and I debated not coming over, but I hoped you would still be up and it looks like you had the same idea?" he phrased it as a question. I nodded.

"You did it too?" also a question from him and again I nodded.

"You ok?" he asked with a very concerned face and voice.

"No, are you?" I replied.

"No… but I am a lot better now, here with you" he told me. His statement got me looking inward to see if I felt the same and indeed I did. The emptiness was completely gone, just a lot of sadness and guilt left over.

"Me too." I admitted.

"It was the hardest thing I have ever done" I offered him, just needing to talk about it. This time he nodded, not in acknowledgment but in agreement.

"Bella" When he said my name I looked directly into his eyes, "I love you" he finished. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Hearing Edward say that, hearing my name and a confession of love come from his mouth reminded me why I just went through hell.

"I love you too Edward" I gladly confessed my love too.

"Then it will be all right, we have each other now so it will be better, I promise." He assured me but he didn't need to because I was already thinking the same thing.

No more words were said in that moment. We were standing there in the yellow light of my porch, exactly in the middle of the doorway, surrounded by nothing but darkness and love.

And it was in that moment I forgot about everything else, about everyone else. The stain of tonight was still on my heart but I did not think of Jacob at all. I lost myself in my new love. He lost himself in me. We were just in each other's arms, our eyes locked into the other's, and our breath filling the space between us with white frost.

"Bella" Edward whispered, as he leaned into me and placed his lips on mine without moving anymore. He was using his lips to ask permission. "Yes Edward?" I managed to say, somehow resisting giving into his lips on mine and not kissing him. "May I?" he asked, always a perfect gentleman, that I had noticed. But he did not wait for my answer before pressing his lips harder against mine and slowly beginning to move them in motion with me. It was everything I had been waiting for my entire life. I didn't know it until that moment but it was the most absolute thing I had ever experienced. It made my heart race and my face blush, but it made my soul fly and it completed me. I tried to figure out how I had gone my entire life without this. Kissing Edward felt as natural as filling my lungs with air or allowing my heart to beat and it answered every question I had been asking myself tonight. Yes I did choose wisely because I chose the person who was created by God to be my other half. I knew I could never live without him now. My heart needed him to beat.

We would figure out Jacob and Tanya, we would figure each other out, and school and life. We would work through it all together and nothing could ever be more right.

All though it is as simple as can be, this kind of love is rarely found. And with it, together, we would survive anything.

"Bella?" he said through kisses.

"Hmm?" I managed to reply.

Edward pulled away, so I could see how serious what he was about to say was. His face looked relaxed and happy and excited. He took the sides of my face in his hands, leaned in to be as close as possible while still allowing me to look into his eyes and he spoke.

"I want to make love to you"

* * *

_So what did you think? Review please. Hope you all enjoyed it. Much love… *Autumn*_


	9. Perfect

_A/N Hope you like this chapter and the lemons. To address something now I didn't go into detail as much as before or as much as I could have but I felt this time so much detail didn't work. Hope there aren't any spelling or grammar errors but I had to work quickly because my computer is broken and the batter doesn't charge right. Please review with your thoughts and or feelings about this chappy. I still need a Beta._

**Things I do: laundry, but not as much as I should cause I hate putting the clothes away, sing along to the radio or any music if I know the words, and I have to eat everything in certain groups, like always 4 m&ms at a time etc. Things I do not do: Get any money for this or twilight because I am not the owner that would be Stephanie Meyer, lucky girl!**

Choose wisely ch 9

"_Bella?" he said through kisses._

"_Hmm?" I managed to reply._

_Edward pulled away, so I could see how serious what he was about to say was. His face looked relaxed and happy and excited. He took the sides of my face in his hands, leaned in to be as close as possible while still allowing me to look into his eyes and he spoke._

"_I want to make love to you" _

* * *

BPOV  
I pulled back completely and even stammer a bit. "What?" I said?

Edward chuckled. "I want to make love to you."

"But I thought you didn't do that… neither of us have done that."I was wrapping my mind around it. I was trying to find a reason to say no, I was unsuccessful.

"I was waiting until it was right, and what could be more right than making love to the girl who my heart has defined love with?" he answered perfectly.

I didn't say anything. I just stood there in his arms, still searching for the reason to say no.

"Oh, it's too fast, I am sorry. We will take it slow, no worries." He thought I was scared, he couldn't be more wrong.

"Yes" I said while leaning in to kiss him.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Yes, I want to make love with you too" I was already opening the front door to my house.

I led him upstairs, taking one of his hands and using my other to place one finger in front of my lips, indicating he should be quite. "Oh right, police chief's daughter, maybe I should reconsider this." He whispered between a smirk.

Once we got to my room I told him I needed a minute to erase the evidence of my bad night before having the best one of my life.

I went into the bathroom, splashed my face with water and dried it. I quickly brushed my teeth, applied a little deodorant and went back to Edward.

He was looking around my room, taking in all its glory. I was glad I had straightened it up recently. I quickly glanced around and there were no dirty clothes or embarrassing messes. I was happy that I wouldn't have to worry about that.

Edward walked up to me and started kissing me again. His lips were so perfect, so smooth and he knew just how to use them. I allowed myself to be consumed by him. I had never fully let down my guard before with Jacob, never allowed him to consume me like I was letting Edward. Things were progressing very slowly which is just as I wanted it. It was my first time and my first time doing anything with Edward. I wanted to bask in it, to memorize every movement and touch.

We spent a long time kissing, just learning one another's mouths. He would occasionally lick along the line of my lips and I would gently moan into his mouth.

When our bodies couldn't deny the heat rising in us anymore, he asked one more time "are you sure Bella?"

"I have never been more sure of anything than I am here with you" I answered.

We began kissing again. Edward placed his hands on the shoulders of my jacket and slowly slid it down my body. I loved every touch from him. I wanted more and I wanted them to never stop.

Next he lowered his hands to the hem of my purple shirt. He stopped kissing for a brief moment and locked his eyes with mine. I didn't flinch so he proceeded to gently lift my shirt up over my head.

My heart was racing; my blood felt like it was actually heating up. I had never felt like this. Not even last night with Jacob.

He paused taking the sight of me in. I looked down to remind myself which bra I was wearing. It was a fairly simple black bra with a very low cut design and a small, white, satin ribbon bow in between the cups. I was also wearing the matching boy short panties. This was probably the best underwear I had for this purpose because I felt very comfortable in it and I was pretty sure it was at least a little sexy.

I smiled at him and started to remove his shirt. He had taken his coat off on the way to my room. I pulled his shirt up and over his head, and I hadn't realized that he was wearing an undershirt until I saw the layers as they were moving over him. Once our tops were removed we leaned in and began kissing the bodies before us. I was kissing along his shoulder, down his chest to his sculpted pec muscles. I ran my hands all over his chest and back, forcing the curves of his muscles into my memory. He would moan when I got to the lowest part of his stomach and he would giggle when I brought them back up along his sides, accidentally tickling him.

He began touching me on my stomach, just using the back of his fingers to trace circles on me. He would then move his fingertips to my back and run them along the entire waist of my jeans. We were back to kissing now. Just moving our mouths in sync and loving one another's bodies. When he moved one of his hands up and cupped my breast I gasped. It was such an amazing feeling and he saw my reaction and apparently he loved it. He used his palm to squeeze my breast but only a little before moving his hands to my back and unhooking my bra. I arched my back, probably not making it easier for him, but I wanted my bare breasts to be available for him so badly that I was trying to push them towards him. It didn't take him long to have it undone and he slid it down off my arms.

When he looked down at me, standing half naked in front of him, he gasped. He actually had forgotten to breathe and had to gasp for air. Edward was the perfect man for me to make myself this vulnerable for, and even though I had only known him for two days I had never felt so comfortable in my own skin, not even when I am alone.

"Bella, you are exquisite." He complimented and I felt my face blush.

"Thank you" I used my manners but he could hear the blushing in my tone.

He lifted my body and lied me down on my bed. Before joining me he took off his socks and shoes and his belt. He took his wallet, cell phone and keys out of his pockets and placed them on my night stand.

I watched him do each of these things, making mental notes of things like the color and type of his wallet and that he removed both shoes before removing both socks as opposed to removing all from one foot at a time. I also took my socks and shoes off like him.

He lied next to me on the bed and brought his right hand to my stomach, slowly bringing it up over my breast, cupping it first and then gently squeezing it. It felt so good I didn't know how to respond. He moved that hand to my other breast and while keeping eye contact he lowered his mouth to my skin. I watched as his mouth opened and accepted my nipple into it. The sensation was amazing. He flicked his tongue around and lightly sucked on it, clearly enjoying himself. I had my hand on his back, trying to massage his muscles in the odd position my hand was in.

After a couple minutes I pulled his face to mine, needing to kiss him more. He stayed by my side and I reached down to the button on his jeans. My hand grazed the length of him and I had never felt a reaction in my body like the one I felt at that moment. I did not stop kissing him while I unbuttoned his jeans and began on his zipper.

"Edward, I have never felt this way." I told him, I didn't want to omit any feelings I was having from him and I hope he would return the favor.

EPOV

"I haven't felt this way before either Bella" I responded to her somewhat spontaneous comment.

Everything tonight felt like a dream. Well first a nightmare, but now the best dream any man could have.

We had both wrapped things up with our significant others, I guess I should say our Exes now. And now we were free to be together. I knew two days was technically fast to go from meeting to making love but I didn't care. My heart had always belonged to Bella, even though I didn't know it, so in a way it felt as though I had loved her forever.

Kissing her was the best feeling in the world, and when she didn't deny me from kissing her outside on her porch, I was so happy.

When I told her I wanted to make love to her and she agreed, I was the happiest man alive.

So now here we are, half naked, in her bed, about to take a leap both of us had been saving. I knew I had not wanted to do it before because my heart was saving itself for Bella, and I hope she discovered the same thing about herself.

Seeing her topless was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. At least until I was lucky enough to see her naked, but I was afraid my heart may actually stop beating when that happened.

Bella reached for the button on my jeans and my breathing immediately sped up. Having her touch me could quite possibly make me cry. And I was not about to look like a blubbering baby for this too. I had done my fair share and then some of crying tonight, so I was determined to just love and enjoy this moment sans tears.

I looked at her as she slid the zipper down. I wanted so badly to feel her hands on me.

She looked scared, or maybe it was more nervous. I knew she was a virgin, but I didn't know how far she had gone otherwise. She was shaking, her hands were trembling as she finished undoing my jeans and I think she was holding her breath. Then I realized I was holding my breath and I was shaking. I wanted to savor the moment but I also really wanted her to go under my clothing and touch all of me without waiting any longer. But I would take this at her pace.

She rubbed her hand over my dick for a while, getting me harder with every stroke. I couldn't wait to feel the skin of her hand on me.

Her face was looking more and more nervous, and it caused me to start worrying about things too. I had never given much thought to the size of my dick before. I somehow knew it was at least average. But now I worried that it wouldn't be enough for her. I already didn't know how far she had gone or with how many guys, so what if I was small in comparison. Or I suppose it could go the other way. What if it turns out I am too big for her? She is a virgin, and while I am too, it's not the same for guys. Girls obvious have some pain issues their first time. I didn't want to hurt her at all, ever, in any way. So I guess I would just go slow, let her lead me, and hopefully we could avoid any pain that would be too bad to bear.

I don't know how I had gone through the majority of my teen years without really thinking about this stuff. I guess I figured what is the point of pondering it when you have no plans to do it? But then Bella came into my life and there is no time to think about it because now that we can be together I need to be as close as possible to her.

She gently placed her fingertips under the elastic of my boxers and started tracing the line it created. I let out a soft moan because not only did it really tease me but it felt good to. The moan must have comforted her nerves or encouraged her because she slowly but promptly pushed her hand the remainder of the way under my boxes and immediately wrapped her delicate fingers around me.

I thought my body would fail me right then, that I would be trigger happy and ruin the night but it did not. She was rubbing her hand up and down on my dick and the feeling was amazing. I was lying on my back now and I lifted my hips so I could completely remove the remainder of my clothing. When she caught sight of how hard I am her face blushed but her eyes twinkled. She looked generally excited, not nervous anymore. She went back to stroking me slowly but was picking up pace.

"God Bella, I… I… apparently I can't talk" I spit out and she gave me a soft giggle.

"I'm doing it right then?" she asked, being a little shy.

I figured her question and her obvious insecurities meant this was a first for her.

"Yes, you're doing everything perfect." I assured her.

I let her touch me for a minute longer before turning her over onto her back, deciding I couldn't wait any longer to see the most beautiful girl in my world naked below me. I met her eyes and without losing them I rubbed my hands over her jeans almost directly between her legs, she moaned and arched her hips immediately. I rubbed my palm up and down some more until she was squirming beneath me. I then moved my hands to the button on her jeans and undid it.

"Edward" she moaned as she lifted her hips to allow me to pull her jeans off. She was wearing boy shorts that matched the bra she had on. I took the time to rub my hand on her pussy over her panties making her moan and grind up into my hand. Then I took my index finger and slipped it up under one leg of them and softly rubbed just the outside of her. She was breathing hard and fast which let me know she liked what I was doing.

"Edward please… stop teasing me… I need…" What? What does she need?

"What do you need Bella?" I was going to verbally tease her now. "You need me to stop?" I asked while pretending I was going to pull my hand back. She reached down and grabbed my hand, not allowing me to move it even an inch.

"I need you inside of me" she finally told me. Those were the hottest words I had ever heard. I think, if possible, my dick actually got harder from hearing her say them.

"Bella, are you sure because I…" but she interrupted me by placing her mouth on mine. She was sure and she didn't want me ruining the mood by asking, again.

She slid her underwear off and I closed my eyes. I needed to prepare for the sight I was about to see. I guess you could say it was like waiting your entire life to see the coliseum or Stonehenge and you were standing before it but very unexpectedly without much notice. That was how I felt. Just knowing that Bella was lying there under me, bare naked, waiting for me to make love to her, it made my heart race faster than it ever had. I was sure V-Tac was about to occur and she would have to call 911.

When I finally opened my eyes and took in the sight, it was better than I had expected. Her body was incredible. No words exist to describe it. She was creamy from head to toe, not a tan line anywhere. She was soft and fragile looking. As she lye with her arms bent up over her head, her hair beautifully fanned out like a halo around her head I thought I might start drooling. Her precious breasts perfectly round and perky. Her legs were twisted, one on top of the other, curved in a way that her waist and hip bone were sticking out and I wanted to lick them. She was amazing.

She brought her arms down and straightened her body. She reached to me and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me over to her and pulling harder so that I was climbing on top of her. She was spreading her legs and bending her knees. My dick was pressed against her hot core and I knew it was a matter of an inch or two to finally be making love to her. I lowered my face to her and whispered "I love you, I always have and I always will" and then started kissing her.

I could feel her smile, her lips pulled taut and not letting my tongue in as much as it would when she wasn't smiling. "I love you to Eddie, so much" she adoringly told me.

"Bella, I don't want to ruin the moment but I don't want to be the irresponsible stereotypical guy either so do you have a condom?" I finally brought myself to say, even though it wasn't exactly sexy.

"Edward I am on the pill and I trust you, I want to do this natural, to truly feel you in every way, please? She stated but also kind of asked. Then she lifted her hips and made eye contact with me.

She was ready and so was I but we were both scared. Without breaking our intense, love filled eye contact, I used my hand to gently enter her. As soon as I touched myself to her it was heaven. People tell you how awesome it feels, how it doesn't compare to anything else, people don't do it justice. This was astonishing, amazing, breath taking. I slowly pushed into her a little more. I looked at her whole face instead of only her eyes to see how she was reacting. She was biting her bottom lips.

"Are you ok, does it hurt?" I checked.

"Just a little, I can handle it please don't stop" She was sincere.

I pushed in the rest of the way and she gave a little whimper.

"Still ok?" I checked again.

"Yes, the pain is subsiding now, that should be the worst of it and it should start being pleasurable for me too now." She informed.

"Ok, just tell me to stop if you need me to" I told her, wanting to make sure she was always comfortable.

I pulled back out some and pushed back in, very slowly. She moaned which I took as the pain being gone and the enjoyment beginning. I started kissing her again, very slow and sweet and bringing my dick in and out of her pussy. I did it slow at first but after a few minutes I started moving faster, which she really enjoyed. She was moaning every time I reentered her.

The feeling made me speechless. It was absolutely amazing. I hoped it felt as good for her.

I continued thrusting in and out and her moans and breathing got faster and faster.

"Oh God Edward I think I am going to come, please don't stop!" she said, a little louder than I thought she should because of the chief being just down the hallway.

A few thrusts later I felt the muscles that wrapped around me get tight and she was moaning loud and lifting her hips. She started writhing on the bed, and was holding her breath.

"Your coming Bella, oh God I'm going to come too." I practically shouted.

When we exploded together it was simply bliss. Releasing myself into her with her grabbing and holding my body down on top of her, as close as possible, was the best possible way to experience this for the first time. Our breathing became synchronized and the motions of our bodies eventually slowed.

I lied on top of her, trying still to catch my breath and she just smiled.

"Bella that was…" I couldn't even finish my sentence partly because I was speechless and partly because I could breathe even enough for conversation.

"Perfect" she finished my sentence for me with the perfect word. Perfect.

That is exactly how I would describe this, perfect.

"I can't believe we just made love, it has been a crazy night, but nothing felt more right than to fully give every part of myself to you" she said. "After the evening's earlier events, starting us by giving each other everything we have to offer was just the best way possible to begin this unstoppable love." She summed it up just right and just how I would.

"I know Bella, my love, I had always been saving this, because I knew it wasn't the right time, but here, with you, my heart was screaming that this is the right time and place and person. I love you so much" I replied to her opening up with doing the same.

"I love you too" she told me.

We lied next to each other for a while talking about the experience. Talking about what we loved about each other's bodies and other things we wanted to try. Every once in a while we would start to doze off but she would wake us both up, afraid the chief would find me there and very likely kill me.

When the sun came up I knew I needed to go home. I got out of bed and started getting dressed. I thought about school, and having to face everyone, but most of all Tanya and how the dynamics of our six some would work now. Bella rolled over and grabbed a t-shirt putting it on and looking positively adorable. I love this girl so damn much.

BPOV

Making love with Edward was perfect. He was sweet and gentle. He kissed me and made a lot of eye contact. He kissed every part of my body and took his time not wanting me to hurt at all. At first it did hurt, but not too bad, and after the pain went away it felt amazing.

My body felt euphoric and I didn't want it to ever end. I couldn't wait until the next time we made love, hopefully later today. I wondered if anyone at school, or God Forbid if Charlie would be able to tell.

I had just finished putting on a t-shirt when my cell phone rang. I was so happy and lost in thought that I just answered it without looking, without even thinking.

The voice on the other end was so familiar yet not familiar at all.

Jacob sounded tired and sick and his voice even sounded depressing.

"Bella, I can't live without you. I am almost to your house, we need to talk some more. Be there in two minutes ok?" He asked and I made some sort of sound he took as a yes and we hung up.

I looked at Edward who looked back at me and saw the fear in my face. 'What is wrong Bella?" he asked.

"Jacob… he is coming here" I said just as I heard his VW Rabbit pull up. "Correction, he is here"

* * *

_A/N Well? Always has to be some drama, otherwise how would it continue? Review Please. It might be a while for my next chapter because my computer is broke and we have to send it in to get fixed. Hope they fix it fast. Love everyone!_


	10. Sorry

I'm really sorry it has been so long since I have updated. Things in my life have been so crazy but are starting to calm down a little. I want you all to know that I am know writting and I will have my story up by monday night. Thank you for all your support and understanding. I love you all! 


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